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Top 5 Questions Everyone asks a Dominatrix

Seattle Dominatrix Ruby Enraylls in her seattle dungeon with a Slave

Have you ever wondered what your Dominatrix’ favorite bdsm activity is? Or how you can be a better a slave? Perhaps the following can point you in the right direction. Below are my 5 most frequently asked questions and my answers. You might find the questions and their answers a bit surprising. Seattle Dominatrix Ruby Enraylls has the answers to your questions and some tips.

What is your favorite thing to do in a session?

It depends on my connection with the person I’m playing with. Having overlapping interests is important. I’m big on bondage, predicaments and power exchange. I really enjoy mind fucks and getting to be creative. I often tend to get really into a theme for a while. A bit ago it was medical then ADBL, chastity roleplay scenarios, prisoner stuff… it’s always something and my specific interests seem to rotate and shift. I enjoy curating an experience for someone.. The more creative the better. I like longer scenes so I can build up ideas and get to know someone, knowing someone over a longer period of time helps with this as well. Nothing can beat intimate knowledge of the inner workings of someone.

What got you into BDSM and the Femdom lifestyle?

Like many of the people I talk to, I have been kinky for as long as I can remember. If you’ve read my about me, I talk about being kinky when I was pretty young, when it was literally just a game. I don’t see anything wrong with that, although many people I’ve spoken to want to find the reason they are into bdsm. This implies to me that it is something to be fixed when I don’t think that’s true. That’s like saying any preference is inherently wrong. It’s my belief that a homogeneous world is pretty dull, among other things.

But I digress. I’ve always had an interest in Bdsm and the very first adult images I found were femdom related. So it seems normal that I would trend that direction, especially considering that I was raised in a female dominant environment.

Are other people into my fetish?

The shortest answer is yes. I’ve played with many, many people and I can tell you with complete confidence that even if someone hasn’t engaged in your particular fetish, there’s definitely an interest. We live in a kinky world. The biggest barrier to entry is unfortunately, shame.

What do you find attractive in a submissive/slave?

The evil variation of this question is “will you go on a date with me” or worse “can I be your live in slave?” Before asking such questions, consider the one posed above and ask yourself “what do I like most about me?” Personally what I like most about my slaves is that they are considerate, kind and respectful. Every person I notice has a willingness to consider the needs and desires of others and makes an effort to do so. It’s often small things that make the biggest impressions.

Seattle Dominatrix Ruby Enraylls is dressed in black latex with her latex slave in her Seattle BDSM Dungeon where she takes requests for Femdom and mistress sessions

What can I do to have the best session with my Domina?

Communicate! Clearly, honestly and respectfully. Sending a long fantasy and play by play isn’t particularly helpful to be completely honest. Writing out a list of yes’s and no’s, hard and soft limits and any specific things you want to try is a great way to start. I prefer to communicate such things at the beginning of the session unless there is something you think I won’t have or something that will need to be prepped for or negotiated. As we get to know each other more, I find that sometimes planning gets a bit more elaborate and more communication before we meet up is necessary or desired.

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Lovespell Manipulation

Your addiction to me just keeps growing and growing, I know how to feed it. You make yourself look away, even if you wanted to. I know how badly you want me to take you deeper under my spell. Let my shiny lips tease you with every word that flows from them. My beautiful breasts mesmerize you and make you make you weak until you have no self control left.

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Chastity for Life or Ruined

Femdom Chasity Blackmail Mind Control

I know how difficult it can be to follow the orders of your Mistress, so I’m going to make it very easy for you. Once you hear my voice, there will be no escape for you. You will fall quickly under my spell and I will solve all of your issues with “escape”.
Once you find yourself deeply under my spell, you will find yourself in no position to refuse me.

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How to Size a Chastity Cage

Seattle chastity mistress

There are so many different types of chastity cages to choose from, making a selection sometimes seems impossible. There are many different styles, materials, shapes, you name it! Which one is right for you? Hopefully I can shed some light on how to purchase a chastity device that will work for you by illuminating some critical consideration points.

Before we start with sizing we need to consider how you’ll use this device. Are you going to be locked up for an hour while you go out and get groceries for your Mistress? Is it a night of chastity for you, lucky boy? Perhaps something more long term like a week of being locked in your cage. Maybe something more intense still like a long term chastity contract that spans weeks, months or if you’re really lucky, years. Each duration has different considerations to make with the fit, sizing, materials and even locking devices.

Let’s start out with the basics

How to Size a Chastity Cage

How to Measure for a Chastity Device

Where do you need to measure for fitting a chastity device?

  1. The circumference of the shaft of the penis
  2. The length of the penis
  3. The circumference of the entire genital (below the base of the penis and the testicles)

You must take these measurements while your penis is soft then repeat them when it is erect to get adequate sizing.

The sizing for most chastity cages or devices tends to come in MM so convert your measurements into MM using Google.

How to Fit a Chastity Device Properly

Many basic devices offer a variety of different sizes of base rings (the ring that goes around the entirety of your genitalia.) This ring holds your chastity device in place and prevents it from falling off. Before purchasing a device take a piece of string the same length as one of the rings you are considering and feel how it feels tied around the base of your penis. This should give you an idea of the fit in that department.

As far as length, try to find a middle ground between your length when soft and when hard. However, that is kind of up to your discretion. Do you want that classic feeling of being cramped and unable to get erect? Lean closer to your soft measurement. Need more room for longer term wear? Go somewhere in the middle or go with the full length if possible.

Picking the right material is mostly a weight issue or a customization question. Do you like the weight of metal or do you not mind the extra effort to put on plastic? Silicone is easy in all of these areas but not secure. 3D printed is highly customized, covers all the bases but expensive and not good as a first choice.

As far as locks the biggest question is how trustworthy are you? Metal locks provide that extra security plus the classic literal keyholder element. The numbered plastic locks can be removed and put back on be crafty subs (for that matter the plastic cages can be broken with enough force.) So metal can’t be beaten in that regard (for the really enthusiastic chastity players you can find some pretty intense full metal belts.) However, is your chastity sub going through lots of airport security or is there another reason they might need to remove it? Bluetooth unlocking options such as apps are a great option. Bluetooth luggage locks are fun too but they can’t get wet. All of these are fun options with long distance training.

At the end of the day, trust is always a huge part of any type of play. Being kept in line or keeping someone in line is critical but a struggle loses it’s charm. 😉

Examples of Different Chastity Devices

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Different Styles of Chastity Cages

Your basic styles are the same: A place to put your penis and some type of ring that holds the cage securely in place. However what tends to vary is how the device goes on, how snugly it fits and how easy it is to put on. The devices with hinged rings are super easy to put on but not good for long term wear as they press. The metal tubes can be bulky and if the ring is the wrong size it can be difficult if not impossible to fit all your gear inside. The plastic devices are also difficult to put on at first and usually require lubricant or the aid of a q-tip. I wouldn’t recommend wearing a sound for long periods at all.

Chastity in Summary

Everything is customized to your fit, read descriptions, look at reviews and always measure first. It takes trial and error to get the right fit, I wouldn’t recommend getting the most expensive custom cage first until you’ve tried things out a bit. That being said if you are confident that you know what you want there are many options in that direction.
However, if the cage is uncomfortable or causes any swelling, bruising, burning, tingling, numbness, cold spots or discoloration remove it immediately. Some pretty nasty things can go wrong if you aren’t careful. Luckily, in a pinch your friendly neighborhood hardware store sells bolt cutters for under 20 bucks.

I hope this has helped you make some decisions about buying your chastity device! Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
If you are interested in exploring chastity, I delight in being a keyholder. Check out my page about that here!

Resources:
https://lockedinlust.com/how-to-measure/
https://www.maturemetal.com/guide-to-measuring-your-penis-for-a-chastity-device/
https://lockthecock.com/blogs/chastity-fun/choosing-the-right-one

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Goddess Worship Clip: Beg to Kiss These Lips

You’ve been begging for this moment. I’ve heard you, I’ve decided to be a little bit merciful and because someone asked nicely I decided to share. You want me, don’t you? You think you deserve it. Beg me, to get a glimpse of what’s under my silk panties. Go ahead, I want to hear you plead and whine. You think you’ll get what you want. News flash: I’m the Queen in my world and you’re just a little pawn that I keep around for my amusement. Be funny and keep me laughing or I’ll knock you down and drag you off the board when I’m bored with you.

Go ahead, start begging to kiss these perfect pink lips. I’m going to tease you with this pretty mesh and make you think you’re going to get to see something real dirty but we both know it’s a ruse. So close though and in such high, crisp definition. It’s almost like it’s up close and personal. Almost as if you could touch or taste.. Mmm.. You could almost smell it from here… It’s divine, isn’t it?

Go ahead and try. I want to watch you fail.
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