Year: 2013

How to Achieve Happiness with Your Vanilla Partner as a Submissive

Cross posted from DommeDose.com How to Achieve Happiness with Your Vanilla Partner as a Submissive By Dominatrix Ruby Enraylls – http://www.duchessofdebauchery.com As a professional dominatrix, I speak with many men who have the desire to be controlled by a powerful (and often manipulating) woman. Unfortunately for these men, general society dictates that women should be subservient, docile, and obedient towards their male counterparts. As a result, submissive men often find themselves frustrated in marriages with women who, for all their wonderful qualities, aren’t taking control. These relationships don’t have to fail, and can end up being quite successful, and I’m going to provide a guide for you to get there in four possibly not-so-easy steps! Step One: Determine What You Want So, you want to give up control. What does that mean? I define control as the ability to affect, influence, or impact a situation, person, or thing directly and with intent. So, the desire to give up control is a desire for your partner to intentionally influence you. This means you’re asking them to lead you, dictate changes, make decisions and initiate interactions- At least, this is what control means to me. It goes without saying that what control means to me and what control means to anyone else is probably different so before considering how to alter your relationship, you should make two lists: One list will have 5-10 actions, feelings or situations that make you feel submissive and the other will describe the inverse. These lists should …

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A Very Sweet Note and Some Thoughts

Upon request one of my lovely submissives, P. wrote this for me to surmise his experience with me. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of reading about the wonderful experiences that I’ve helped create for other people. Knowing that I can make someone’s day, week, month, year or even lifetime is immensely flattering, enthralling and inspiring; It truly makes me feel like I’m making the world a little bit brighter, in my own weird way. “I just want to say a little something about Ruby.I have never seen a “pro” before so she was my first experience there, and as we all know, first impressions are important. I admit I was a bit hesitant, with all that we hear nowadays about being set-up, ripped off, or worse in such circumstances, I was very cautious and a bit edgy.We met at a casual public place and walked to her place of business.Ruby soon made me feel at ease. She is not only very sexy, she is very real and very accommodating. We chatted a bit more so she could learn more about what I desired and my limitations. Although I was still feeling a bit self conscience of the large age difference between us, she never gave any indication that she was nothing but pleased to fulfill my fantasy scene.That being said, once our session began, I was in pure bliss. I won’t get into details, but I’m a pretty kinky dude, and she filled and fulfilled my desires as well …

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Kink Influences

If you know me, it’s no secret that I’ve been kinky effectively since I could walk. Previously, I’ve just accepted this as my reality and left it at that but recently I’ve begun thinking about my influences and how they shaped who I am and what I like. Today I’m going to share a few of my influences and what I liked about them. Xenia Onatopp Have you watched Golden Eye? It was my favorite movie for years, starting with the first time I ever watched it when I was probably 4 or 5. I’m not sure why my parents even let me watch James Bond movies but they did and I was enthralled. I didn’t really give a shit about the violence in fact I barely noticed it, what I did notice was Xenia Onatopp killing people with her thighs and Natalya Simonova’s super sexy accent. In fact I liked Xenia so much that I used to put other kids in scissor grips with my legs because I thought it was awesome to have that much control over someone. (Several of my middle school friends will attest to this.) I believe I also begged my mom to let me take a Russian class almost immediately after I saw Golden Eye.  Strangely enough, the connection between my obsession with scissor grips/breath control and sexual excitement only recently surfaced for me. I have no idea why it took so long for me to become aware of it because it’s extremely obvious …

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A Lucky Boy in Chastity

Here are several more paragraphs from the Lucky Boy about his experiences in chastity, getting a reward, disappointing me and my response to the disappointment. Enjoy! Miss Ruby took me to her space, tied me and blindfolded me. Now, I had been told not to wear my chastity cage that night so, there I was blindfolded, pants around my legs and my cock hard, dripping and aching for Miss Ruby. I had no idea what would come next and her mastery at being in charge only fueled my sexual desires even more. Miss Ruby invaded my ass, stroked my cock, clamped my nipples and took complete control over my willing body. I wasn’t allowed to cum and she brought me closer and closer to the edge and then back again. I had such a desire to cum but my desire to be good overcame it. Then she gave me permission to and I couldn’t. I wanted to so bad, I was right there on the edge and I tried and tried and Miss Ruby was being so good to me and giving me everything and more than I should have needed to cum but I just wouldn’t. It was like this frustrating combination of all my insecurities and having not cum in almost three weeks and I never came. After we were done and I was left frustrated, feeling like I had been a disappointment, Miss Ruby informed me that I was not allowed to cum and she also gave …

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The Hidden Benefits of Good Toys

You might think I’m thick for stating this but I’ll do it anyways; Quality really is worth it.Unfortunately, quality is not cut and dry; Some expensive things suck and some cheap things are awesome. For example, I’ll compare two kinds of handcuffs: $10 Thumb Cuffs and $45 Deluxe Steel Handcuffs. The “Deluxe” cuffs I bought in my youth when I was tormenting a boyfriend, unfortunately… They were crap. I spent a little chunk of change on them and  I only used them once or twice because they didn’t feel good, they weren’t fun to use and they weren’t really that versatile.The thumb cuffs on the other hand… I use whenever I have a chance; They just rock. They’re simple but sturdy, versatile and I connect with them. That’s really my point with this whole post- Good toys are toys you connect with. If it feels like you have to fight the toy to use it, it’s not a good toy for you. The bold statement above became really apparent to me over the weekend when I was comparing my single tail to my partner’s- Mine is made from inexpensive leather, has thick strands, is probably only 8 plait and packs a whollup to my arm when I use it on someone. I knew I had to fight that whip to use it and that was part of the fun with it; If I wanted to beat someone, I had to really put some effort into it. Sadly though, I don’t …

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A Collection of Thank Yous

I decided to go through my emails today and reading some of the thank you’s I’ve received from some of the people I’ve had contact with has made me very, very happy. Lucky for you, I’ve decided to make a small catalog of some of the thank you emails I’ve received so that other people can read them and feel some of the wonderful vibes that others have sent my way. 🙂  I hope the writers of these little notes don’t mind that I’m sharing them. To be blunt, reading little sweet things or stories that people write for me about their experiences with me really makes my day. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did! —— 9/22/2013 Good Evening Ruby, I just wanted to touch base with you and thank you for such an incredible session. I liked that you were taller than me, and you being so attractive, I think weakens the defenses of the male brain. I don’t know exactly what you were doing exactly, but I’ve never felt anything quite like that. The waves that kept going on and on at the same intensity even though my body was ready for the waves to subside, they kept on and on going!  Looking forward to next time…..:) 8/22/2013 Hi! Thanks for making my birthday present special.Here’s a pic of how things are progressing… I love it! Although pain from sitting down is starting to become a memory, I think it’ll probably hardly hurt at all in another day or two 🙁 awwwI …

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The Ultimate Submissive Relationship

The following is a write up I asked of one of my long distance submissives. This write up is about what his idea of the perfect dominant/submissive looks like and what submission means for him. I have always thought of submission as the ultimate gift to a Dominant partner. The biggest fear is that the Dominant will not view this gift to be as special as the person giving it. I think it’s very important to be treated well as a sub. If I feel special to a Dominant I will move mountains for them. I also think it is up to the sub to relinquish all control to the Dominant with trust they are making decisions in your best interest whether you agree with them or not. If these two parts are present in a relationship the sky is the limit. In my own situation I finally feel I have someone I trust enough to give my gift of submission to. She makes me want to be a better person, a better husband, and a better father. I love to do everything she ask and more because I know it makes her feel special. The things I would like to do in the future are encourage her to take more and more control. The more she controls me the more I know how much I mean to her. The great thing is she praises me doing things well which is as good as foreplay to my submissive nature. I …

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A Lucky Boy

The following is a paragraph from a short story that I asked my new house boy to write after having met me. I enjoyed reading it so much that I thought I would share it with everyone. 🙂 It could be pheromones, it could be that she’s fucking gorgeous, it could be her natural presence of a strong and successful woman who knows what she wants and how to get it or, maybe it’s all of those and more rolled into one irresistible package. What I do know, is the moment Miss Ruby walked into that café I didn’t care one single bit about anyone else seated nearby or around. Usually, I’m always conscious of my surroundings. I scan the people sitting all around me, the people coming and going but fuck them, fuck the waitress, fuck the people walking by on the street, I had Miss Ruby sitting in front of me. She was intoxicating, like in the old movies where the beautiful female singer is strolling down the staircase and singing in some dark and sultry voice, all eyes are on her and everyone wants to be the lucky one. She was dressed sexy, not trashy or underdressed or trying to wear something she wasn’t comfortable in but dressed like she knew what she was doing and was confident about what she was walking around in. She had the most amazing smile which draws you in and makes you want to smile and all encompassed in these beautiful …

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Some Thoughts on Inner Strength and Pro-Domme

I love my job. There’s such a thrill that comes along with meeting someone new and unknown for bdsm play. What role will he want to play? Will he like me? Will we get along? Will we connect well during play? It completes me like nothing else but it is a hardship at times. To be a dominatrix, a cam girl, an escort or any other kind of sex worker takes the strength to take on the deepest desires and darkest fantasies of a stranger and to make their wildest dreams come true without devaluing, compromising and destroying yourself. to do that well takes an immense amount of strength and the willingness to be vulnerable. Let me get one thing straight, I am not being paid to be a hole. I am being paid to be myself and use my own passions to make the fantasies of others come true. By coming out and saying “this is who I am. I’m kinky as hell, I like watching others enjoy themselves and even though we don’t know if we have chemistry, I’m willing to accept money to meet you and take the chance that you aren’t going to rape, kill, stalk, harass or otherwise try to hurt me.” Every part of that statement is a challenge in and of itself and on a day to day basis I don’t know how I manage to trust the world so much to accept so much of who I am and more surprisingly still, …

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Send me ideas for FREE Videos! Also, a picture of me touching myself.

I’ve decided to start making some free content that I’m going to post through some sharing sites and some on youtube (no nudity, obviously.)So that leaves you with the task of providing me with ideas! If you have any questions, comments, suggestions or ideas of videos for me, please leave a comment here or send me an email: [email protected] Looking forward to hearing from you!