Month: July 2014

Why Anxiety?

Just now I looked in my fridge to find nothing but fancy noshes and fancy booze which led me to have the strangest “this is my life” moment I think I’ve ever experienced… Upon discovering that I didn’t really have any real food, I thought about the not so inexpensive purchases I had just made in the name of making my space feel more comfortable and I panicked. I literally panicked because I couldn’t see anything really wrong in the direction that my life appears to be going in; I’ve found my rhythm, a good routine, things I love doing …

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Convince Ruby to Visit You; A Shut In on an Adventure

For those of you who know me well, you may have noticed that there are a few places where you can almost always find me; Turns out I’m an agoraphobe so going out into the world is scary for me and I’ve gotten very good at avoiding going out into the world. I recently realized this because it came to my attention that the list of people I interact with face to face is very small and that I haven’t gone out in public with friends in…. An embarrassingly long time. Whoops. So of course I impulsively decided to go …

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I’m Not a Princess

In 36 hours I’ll be heading home, it’s been a long week. I don’t think I’ve been away from home for this long since I was a kid and I definitely didn’t experience as much then as I did this week; It’s been a week of stress, pain, discovery, wonder, fear, anxiety, excitement, elation, connection and now tears as I write this. I’m not upset, at least I don’t think I am. It mostly feels like I’m over whelmed by everything that has happened and how that has shaped my view of the world, myself and what I want my …

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Sexual Energy Exchange; Why I’m a Provider

Over the holidays last year I found myself feeling really weird and grumpy when I went for long periods without playing with anyone. After chatting with Victoria Rage she and I decided that play withdrawal is totally a thing that happens for both of us. I’m thinking that I likely feel bad after going a while without playing (in the hobby and out of it) because it is a source of positive energy for me and it gives me a positive outlet for any negative feelings I might be having. Since discovering this I’ve made a conscious effort to pour …

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