Alyxe and the Suicide Note

Dear friends,

For those of you who don’t know and those who do.. Alyxe, who is very dear to me, had a hell of a rough rough night. She attempted to check out from the hotel of life but thankfully she is okay and in good hands.

Things have been difficult for her as of late with the loss of her transportation and raised emotional issues due to hormones and financial problems (which I feel at least partially responsible for.) For those of you who know Alyxe well, you know that it is almost impossible for her to ask for help, support or company when she needs it. She has been feeling very isolated which has made all of the little issues that come along with general existence and not to mention, transitioning, much worse.

I believe that everything beautiful is born from ugliness and this was almost a very ugly and tragic situation. During the time that I have known Alyxe I have had the privilege of getting to watch her open up and blossom into something much more beautiful and kind than I ever could have imagined.

When I first met Alyxe it was through a professional capacity and at first my interactions with her were awkward and clunky because I couldn’t read her well. Not to mention the fact that I myself, was awkward and clunky, As time went by I became comfortable with pushing her and working with her to break down her negative associations and reactions. It has been my goal to help her create stability in her life and insulate herself from the world in an emotional capacity. In return, she gave me immense stability and comfort that allowed me to grow into who I am today. I cannot thank her enough for that. Hell, I wouldn’t even know where to start.

For those of you who have only seen Alyxe from afar, here is what you need to know about her. Behind the thick glasses, powerful giggle and poofy hair is an incredibly kind woman who would give everything she has to make someone else’s life better. She has certainly done that for me, without question or hesitation and I know that she gives whatever she possibly can to the people and community around her.

The sad part of this story is that Alyxe doesn’t see this side of herself, she only sees her failures, which most of the time weren’t things she could control or even things that she had any involvement in. She just takes the blame when things go wrong, regardless of the situation. I can relate to that because I am an intense feeler too and sometimes it sucks, a lot. When you feel the world’s pain all at once and it weighs you down, it’s hard to not get crushed by it.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to take this opportunity to try to strengthen her support system and show her that the community cares about her and I would like to invite you all to come smother her with love, well wishes, hugs, cards, red things or just kind words.

Once she has been let out of kitsune jail (aka, the hospital) she will be staying with me in Seattle and anyone else who wishes to spend time with her is of course welcome to borrow her, cuddle with her or whatever. I’m sure her other partner will want time with her as well. I do not currently know what her work situation will be or how much time she will need to recover but I do think that it is very important for her to settle back into a better head space.

Currently her phone is not on her so if you’d like to send her some kind words you are welcome to contact me via text or email and I will be sure to pass the information along to her. 🙂 and 206-486-4960

Anything helps, she just needs to feel the embrace of the world right now.

Thank you,