In current times it seems that someone or several someone’s have taken to impersonating me and many other Dommes online. They are using my image to steal money and information from people. Here are some ways to avoid having that happen to you and to learn how to spot a fake domme and avoid being scammed on dating sites.
My only official contact information is as follows:
Scammers Are Sweet
A scammer will always reach out to you first, comment on your posts, like them, butter you up and make a lot of amazing promises! Does she sound like your dream domme? She probably isn’t real. Is she sending you a bunch of pictures and videos? Ask yourself why she might do this. Sometimes scammers play a long game, they may take a while to ask you for money (I had one who took months with me but her photos were cropped ones from a Suicide Girl.) They may even look and sound almost like the real thing, which can be frustrating when you’ve sent a message over Instagram and she didn’t respond. Unfortunately, DM’s run a risk of getting us banned! A patient sub is always a good sub. <3
Does the social media or account look legit?
Is the person using an actual domme’s name?
A key point in how to spot a fake domme is that they are using a variation of a name like instead of @rubyenraylls they are using @rubyenraylIs with a capitol I instead of an l. The rest of the social media will look the same, except the follower count will be much lower (unless they have reported the main account and gotten it deleted.) Does the name have a bunch of numbers after it or is it a different name entirely? (You can only figure out the latter by reverse google image searching but we will get to that.) Does it just tweet crap like domme memes? Does the account have almost no followers? Does it look a lot like another account but slightly different? Did the account reach out to you and start flirting? If the last one is true plus any of the above, the account is fake. Established Dommes don’t reach out. Sorry but we don’t.
Is it on a dating site?
If it’s on a kink or Fetish specific dating site, you are getting ripped off by the new Ashley Madison my friend. Every account on there is fake. Cancel your membership before someone convinces you to do something you regret. If you want to find someone, you need to be upfront. It sucks but trust me.
In all seriousness, many accounts have been reported to me on sites like Senior Domination, Sissy Dating sites and ABDL specific dating sites. I love all of these people but I do not seek people out on dating sites.
Please apply these tip to any dating site you use so you can avoid being scammed on dating sites and social media.
Always reverse google search the images
One of the most critical steps in learning how to spot fake dommes and find stolen images online is to reverse image search them. You see where the images come up elsewhere and see other information about the images.
Ask yourself: Do they bring up a website? Does the name match or is it different? What information here has been published first? What doesn’t match? Is the person I’m talking to shortening a longer name? Dommes don’t switch names . Our names are our brands. If the name doesn’t match the website or the branding is different, you have a fake domme.
Check the website
Does the domme in question have official social media and an email listed? Are is the person you are talking to using a different account and email but unable to respond with either of those methods posted on the official website? If so, the person you are talking to is absolutely 100% fake.
Does the writing style on the website match the way the person types to you or do they recognize references cited on the website at all? If not, that person is the same person.
If a person approaches you from an account that looks suspicious and asks you for money straight up, it is most likely a scammer. Dommes don’t have time for that crap.
If you find a scammer or fake using my images
Please take a screenshot and of your interactions and the account and send all of your information to my email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Relevant information would be: Their profile link, any images they sent you, any conversation containing non sensitive information, any contact information you have for them.
Thank you, I value your help.
You have some desires that keep persisting. You’ve tried to escape them, push them down, ignore them, forget that they’re there. Why is that? You’ve often asked yourself this. You’re afraid that others won’t accept you as you are. For that reason and many others, it just makes sense to keep your fantasies to yourself. That’s just not enough anymore though. You’re craving something more and most of all, you want to express your desires and be seen.
The first time you message her, you feel your pulse quicken. You’re so nervous. You’ve talked yourself out of contacting her so many times but for some reason right now you feel emboldened. You’ve pressed send and it’s out of your hands now. You’ve taken the first step to giving up control and you don’t know how you feel about it. Some part of it feels like a relief and another part of you is panicking.
Faster than you expected you have a reply. You don’t want to fuck this up, it took you so long to write your first message. For some reason her reply puts you at ease and makes the whole situation feel more normal. By association, you feel more normal. This was easier than you expected. All you have to do now is follow instructions and wait. The waiting is always the hardest part.
You’ve been on the edge of your seat but you’ve crossed all your I’s and dotted your T’s. You’re so anxious that it’s all you can think about. You think about bailing but you’ve come this far, so you couldn’t possibly. You’re drawn through the day as if you’re in a hazy daydream until you find yourself face to face with her. Suddenly, crashing back to reality in a bundle of nerves.
You find yourself lured in by the casual conversation, slowly leading you down a darker pathway. You find yourself at ease, comfortable and feeling unconcerned with how your interests may make you appear. You find yourself drawn in and compelled to confess. How did that happen? Hm.. You simply fall under her spell deeper. Settling into this world of nonjudgement.
It’s been a long week already but you’ve had your email to distract you. Normally you hate the airport, the waiting, the delays and all the people. This time it just gives you time to build up tension. Her emails, texts and photos have kept you on edge the entire time and you can’t wait to see what awaits you on the other end of your flight. She reads you like a book but your Mistress is so mysterious to you. That always works to her advantage. This time she says she has a surprise for you, given what she knows about you… You can only imagine what it could be. Oh well, time to board and shut down.
You’re on your toes the entire flight, you can’t manage to get a lick of work done. Ugh. Hopefully you’ll have your wits about you later.
You land and you get one text that says simply “Surprise is at the hotel. Meet at the usual spot.” A shiver runs down your spine and your cheeks burn. Holy shit, what did she send to the hotel? Fuck. Your mind is racing and the obnoxious hum of the Uber driver’s too loud-not your taste music fades away into the background. You are too fixated on what awaits you at the hotel and then later, in her clutches.
The lobby seems entirely too bright when you walk in and you float over to the check in desk. “Hi, um..” you stammer. “I’d like to check in. I believe you have something for me too..?” The woman behind the desk smiles brightly and acknowledges you, taps her keyboard then hands you two key cards and a shipped box. “Can I help you with anything else?” she queries but you are completely lost to the world.
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. She sent it. She actually sent it. You feel your excitement starting to build. You suddenly snap back to reality and the check in desk girl is staring at you. “Uh, sorry.” You blurt out. “Long flight.” She shrugs and repeats her question. You decline, thank her and excuse yourself quickly. Being careful to hold your personal items in such a way to not disclose your excitement to any casual passers by.
Up in your hotel room you are brimming with anticipation, staring at your box. Yet you don’t dare open it without permission from your Mistress. You fired off a text as soon as you were in the elevator but it feels like every second is taking an eternity. Finally, a reply. “Yes, open it. You’ll know what I want you to do with it.” The text is almost too much for you but you steady yourself and tear into the box.
Of course. Packed neatly inside the discreet box is your very own chastity device. You gulp, you were on edge before you got on the plane and now you know you’ll be in for more torment. You get so compliant and obedient when you’re locked. She knows just how to push your buttons, you can’t help but comply. The device is snug but it fits just right, you can’t help but obey and put it on. With a click, it locks securely. For a moment, you feel panic and decide to back out. Unfortunately, there’s no key in the box. Fuck. Your phone lights up… It’s a text. “Freaking out yet? You’ll have to earn that key back… This is going to be a fun trip!”
You feel yourself strain against the cage. Oh. Fuck…
Good Afternoon perverts,
I have a lovely opportunity for those of you who enjoy showing off your inner exhibitionist: I am doing an official casting call for an artistic and ongoing photo project that I’m collaborating on with several photographer friends of mine.
Let me be perfectly and crystal clear: This is not a call for models in clips, pornography, video, etc. I may in the future do a casting call for that but this an artistic project featuring BDSM, fetish and event erotic elements that I find interesting and alluring but focuses heavily on the artistic element.
I have been inspired by many creative artists online such as Mistress Eva, Mistress Troy and Cybill Troy. At first glance you may just look at the imagery they have created and say “that’s just porn” or “that’s an advertisement.” However, to me my website is a space where I can create artistic vision and attract like minded people; My website is a place to house my creative voice.
I have several different visions in mind for this particular casting call.
Iconic Scenes from Movies, with a kinkier twist
Have you ever been watching a movie and found yourself completely enraptured with the pacing, the imagery, the characters yet you wished it had gone slightly further in a kinky a direction? Maybe you wished the roles were reversed? I’m aiming to recreate scenes like that from movies that are easily recognizable, that stick in your mind. I already have several in mind but I’m always looking to add to my collection of ideas.
BDSM for Everyone and Every Body
Have you ever been looking through BDSM or Femdom images only to find that there isn’t someone who represents you or that you resonate with? I think this is really important. My goal is to to represent different body types and gender expressions. The idea is to create a welcoming space, period.
With any photo project I am working on, the goal is that you will be anonymous in the photos. However, I will ask that you sign a model release.
If you’d like to chat about this, please email me at email@example.com
There are so many different types of chastity cages to choose from, making a selection sometimes seems impossible. There are many different styles, materials, shapes, you name it! Which one is right for you? Hopefully I can shed some light on how to purchase a chastity device that will work for you by illuminating some critical consideration points.
Before we start with sizing we need to consider how you’ll use this device. Are you going to be locked up for an hour while you go out and get groceries for your Mistress? Is it a night of chastity for you, lucky boy? Perhaps something more long term like a week of being locked in your cage. Maybe something more intense still like a long term chastity contract that spans weeks, months or if you’re really lucky, years. Each duration has different considerations to make with the fit, sizing, materials and even locking devices.
Let’s start out with the basics
How to Size a Chastity Cage
How to Measure for a Chastity Device
Where do you need to measure for fitting a chastity device?
- The circumference of the shaft of the penis
- The length of the penis
- The circumference of the entire genital (below the base of the penis and the testicles)
You must take these measurements while your penis is soft then repeat them when it is erect to get adequate sizing.
The sizing for most chastity cages or devices tends to come in MM so convert your measurements into MM using Google.
How to Fit a Chastity Device Properly
Many basic devices offer a variety of different sizes of base rings (the ring that goes around the entirety of your genitalia.) This ring holds your chastity device in place and prevents it from falling off. Before purchasing a device take a piece of string the same length as one of the rings you are considering and feel how it feels tied around the base of your penis. This should give you an idea of the fit in that department.
As far as length, try to find a middle ground between your length when soft and when hard. However, that is kind of up to your discretion. Do you want that classic feeling of being cramped and unable to get erect? Lean closer to your soft measurement. Need more room for longer term wear? Go somewhere in the middle or go with the full length if possible.
Picking the right material is mostly a weight issue or a customization question. Do you like the weight of metal or do you not mind the extra effort to put on plastic? Silicone is easy in all of these areas but not secure. 3D printed is highly customized, covers all the bases but expensive and not good as a first choice.
As far as locks the biggest question is how trustworthy are you? Metal locks provide that extra security plus the classic literal keyholder element. The numbered plastic locks can be removed and put back on be crafty subs (for that matter the plastic cages can be broken with enough force.) So metal can’t be beaten in that regard (for the really enthusiastic chastity players you can find some pretty intense full metal belts.) However, is your chastity sub going through lots of airport security or is there another reason they might need to remove it? Bluetooth unlocking options such as apps are a great option. Bluetooth luggage locks are fun too but they can’t get wet. All of these are fun options with long distance training.
At the end of the day, trust is always a huge part of any type of play. Being kept in line or keeping someone in line is critical but a struggle loses it’s charm. 😉
Examples of Different Chastity Devices
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Different Styles of Chastity Cages
Your basic styles are the same: A place to put your penis and some type of ring that holds the cage securely in place. However what tends to vary is how the device goes on, how snugly it fits and how easy it is to put on. The devices with hinged rings are super easy to put on but not good for long term wear as they press. The metal tubes can be bulky and if the ring is the wrong size it can be difficult if not impossible to fit all your gear inside. The plastic devices are also difficult to put on at first and usually require lubricant or the aid of a q-tip. I wouldn’t recommend wearing a sound for long periods at all.
Chastity in Summary
Everything is customized to your fit, read descriptions, look at reviews and always measure first. It takes trial and error to get the right fit, I wouldn’t recommend getting the most expensive custom cage first until you’ve tried things out a bit. That being said if you are confident that you know what you want there are many options in that direction.
However, if the cage is uncomfortable or causes any swelling, bruising, burning, tingling, numbness, cold spots or discoloration remove it immediately. Some pretty nasty things can go wrong if you aren’t careful. Luckily, in a pinch your friendly neighborhood hardware store sells bolt cutters for under 20 bucks.
I hope this has helped you make some decisions about buying your chastity device! Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.
If you are interested in exploring chastity, I delight in being a keyholder. Check out my page about that here!
Corset training can be an excellent part of any feminization routine or a wonderful set of sissy tasks. If you want to make your body more feminine, it’s a great way to do it without any big changes, so it’s a great option for a man, sissy or casual player to explore. They can range from cheap to very pricey depending on your needs, budget and how fancy you want to be. That being said, you can often get what you need for your closet without breaking the bank.
I’m going to answer some basic questions that you may have about how to fit a corset, this is part one about picking a corset. I’m briefly touching on several other topics I’m going to cover later such as body types, corset styles and fabrics. If you would like an individual consultation about sizing any type of clothing or shoes or selecting make up based on your skin, please feel free to contact me. Moving along..
How do I measure for a corset?
You need to measure your natural waist size in order to size a corset. You can measure your natural waist size one inch above your belly button.
Once measured, always choose a corset 2-4 inches smaller than your natural waist to achieve the ‘hourglass’ effect. The amount you “size down” is how tight the corset will close and depending on your shape and the shape of the corset you should size accordingly. Always read size guides.
Some fashion corsets may not come with traditional sizing, in which case I would refer to my previous sizing guide.
Where is my waist?
Your waist is the smallest part of your abdomen. Usually one inch above your belly button but it varies on some people. Take a fabric tape measure and pull it somewhat right around your waist, where does it gather to? (When measuring don’t cinch tightly, hold the tape loosely.) This also gives you information about your body shape. However, that is for a different post.
Can I use corsets designed for female bodies?
Yes! But they all fit differently. There is a simple over bust and under bust as far as length but there are also long line (for long torso which come in both under and over,) cinchers, waspies and corset belts. All in descending order of coverage.
You also want to pay attention to how much curve a corset has. Most “real” corsets have some kind of metal boning in them but fashion corsets which have the least support use plastic and are the most forgiving. A real corset will have corded laces or strings of some sort (like a shoe lace,) not generally ribbon or zippers as they will break easily with repeated lacing/zipping
Product: Cotton Tight lacing Corset from Mystic City Corsets
A tight lacing or hourglass corset is more on extreme end and is usually not for beginners but is incredible for creating a perfect curve. Tight lacing is the technique used to create a well defined hourglass figure.
Another thing to think about is the type of fabric used. Is it mesh, leather, satin, cotton, brocade? They all wear, sit, fit and stretch differently.
For example, a mesh corset will breath more which is better for wearing under clothes but it is less usable for tighter lacing (waist reduction) and will break down faster. Alternatively, you could wear it over your clothes for an alternative look.
A satin corset looks prettier on the outside (and would make a great sissy corset) but may get lots of runs in the fabric or stain easily depending on the color. Satin, cotton and brocade tend to be fairly default when it comes to corsets. PVC, leather and latex are more speciality fabrics.
Will wearing a corset change the shape of my body?
Over time repeated and consistent wear of a corset can change your shape but such pursuits should be undertaken with caution. If you only wear a corset occasionally, your body will return back to its original shape once you remove your corset. If you desire to change your waist size through corset training, it requires dedication
All around the world, women lament the chore of trying to divinate the size of their clothes.
When trying to figure out your size in women’s clothes as a Sissy, for feminization or crossdressing it gets a bit more complicated.
0 here, 12 there, 40 over there. It makes no sense. That’s just crossing countries. Try crossing brands. If I look into my jeans drawer I can find 26, 27, 28, 29, 2, 4, 6, xx small, small, medium and one size fits all. Who could possibly figure out how to order pants when you’re coming from a world of waist by length? I guess what I’m saying here is that no brand is standard in sizing when it comes to women’s clothing and the material and cut makes a huge difference in the fit. You never really know how something will fit until you have it on but usually size guides for sites will lend some help.
The trick comes in several parts.
Know your measurements
However you’re planning on dressing, you better take your bust, waist and hip. The bust is the biggest part of your chest, waist is the smallest, hip is the biggest part of your hips/butt.
For bonus points, measure your neck, around your thigh, your bicep, the width of your shoulders, the length of your arm and the length of your leg. Now you can get fitted for anything!
Read size charts
Seriously. If the site you’re ordering from doesn’t have one, try to google one for the brand. It will save you a lot of time.
The stretchier the fabric the more give it has and the more you can fudge measurements. So look at materials and Google that if you are unsure, same with reviews. Common stretchy fabric names are lycra, elastane and spandex.
Now you are all set to order some clothes! If you need some one on one consulting, feel free to contact me and I would be happy to help you.
Have you ever wanted to serve me?
Well today is your lucky chance.
Much like any busy person, I have an endless to do list that I never seem to get to the bottom of and an endless list of things that always need prepping, preparing or acquisition. In other words: Errands and chores.
I won’t keep things too long and arduous but I do like to keep things fun so consider this an invitation for an application. You may email my gmail account Rubyenraylls@gmail.com with your application and qualifications.
I will be shortly posting tasks here as well.
What is your submissive play style?
A while ago I retweeted an image on Twitter roughly about different types of subs. That image is somewhat inaccurate, I think but I retweeted it because I thought it was funny and I didn’t expect people to really ask me about it. Then I started thinking about different types of “subs” for a lack of a better term. I have often thought about the different driving forces behind what composes kink, BDSM, fetish, etc, however that is a post for a different day. So I began thinking about the motivations behind each different type of sub I have observed. There will be a follow up to this post because I think there are more sub classifications beyond just these.
So, why does it matter what type of sub/what your play style is? (I think your play style is actually more accurate.) It gives you more information about yourself and what you’re seeking out of your interactions with your Domme/Mistress/etc.
Also, keep in mind that people use titles with their own discretion so “slave” may mean something to one person but something completely different to another person. It’s always important to ask when negotiating. (For example in online Domme communities “slave” basically means “submissive man” whereas in lifestyle BDSM communities a “slave” refers to someone that is “owned property” and is usually a relationship title rather than something you just call someone.)
So these titles are in part borrowed from what I have observed and in part my own creation. Moving along.
A submissive is an umbrella term for someone with submissive desires who wants to be dominated. They have a whole range of interests in the BDSM or fetish realm. They may be casual or extremely serious and devoted to a Mistress. BDSM is a whole world of self expression for them. It’s a type of powerful play or sexual expression.
A slave is largely the same as a submissive with the exception that they tend to be more deeply involved lifestyle and tend to have one or more long term connections with Mistresses. Their real life outside play tends to be much more intertwined with kink and they are focused on “serving” in whatever form that takes for them. That’s not to say that a submissive can’t have domestic relationships that step outside the realm of the bedroom. However, I would say the level of commitment required for someone to make that sort of investment usually involves some sort of collar. Regardless of what title you assign to that relationship.
A bottom is someone who much like a submissive is also experiencing kink for the purposes of self expression, play or sexual expression but the focus isn’t power exchange. They may engage in very hard play that pushes some very hard limits that you would only see from people deeply involved in heavy D/s relationships. Bottoms are experience chasers, limit pushers and they want to see how everything feels and process the fuck out of it. The good and the bad.
A fetishist is someone who seeks the deep exploration of something particularly specific. They can be all over the map as far as the D/s scale and their involvement in the BDSM scene. Their focus is exploration of whatever their particular fetish is and hopefully you talked about it before and also hopefully it’s your thing too!
An explorer I would put neutrally on the D/s scale as they usually have no idea where they sit but it’s always fun to find out! Maybe they have no interest in D/s at all or maybe they really want to sit at your feet and suffer! An explorer is just that, an unknown.
A sensualist also doesn’t fall on the D/s scale but nothing makes them happier than putting a big smile on your face. Nothing makes Mistress happier than someone who wants to make her happy! The focus is typically not the harsh aspect of BDSM but sensation and sensuality.
I hope that helped shed some light on different types of submission for you!