Archive For The “Erotica” Category
You have some desires that keep persisting. You’ve tried to escape them, push them down, ignore them, forget that they’re there. Why is that? You’ve often asked yourself this. You’re afraid that others won’t accept you as you are. For that reason and many others, it just makes sense to keep your fantasies to yourself. That’s just not enough anymore though. You’re craving something more and most of all, you want to express your desires and be seen.
The first time you message her, you feel your pulse quicken. You’re so nervous. You’ve talked yourself out of contacting her so many times but for some reason right now you feel emboldened. You’ve pressed send and it’s out of your hands now. You’ve taken the first step to giving up control and you don’t know how you feel about it. Some part of it feels like a relief and another part of you is panicking.
Faster than you expected you have a reply. You don’t want to fuck this up, it took you so long to write your first message. For some reason her reply puts you at ease and makes the whole situation feel more normal. By association, you feel more normal. This was easier than you expected. All you have to do now is follow instructions and wait. The waiting is always the hardest part.
You’ve been on the edge of your seat but you’ve crossed all your I’s and dotted your T’s. You’re so anxious that it’s all you can think about. You think about bailing but you’ve come this far, so you couldn’t possibly. You’re drawn through the day as if you’re in a hazy daydream until you find yourself face to face with her. Suddenly, crashing back to reality in a bundle of nerves.
You find yourself lured in by the casual conversation, slowly leading you down a darker pathway. You find yourself at ease, comfortable and feeling unconcerned with how your interests may make you appear. You find yourself drawn in and compelled to confess. How did that happen? Hm.. You simply fall under her spell deeper. Settling into this world of nonjudgement.
It’s been a long week already but you’ve had your email to distract you. Normally you hate the airport, the waiting, the delays and all the people. This time it just gives you time to build up tension. Her emails, texts and photos have kept you on edge the entire time and you can’t wait to see what awaits you on the other end of your flight. She reads you like a book but your Mistress is so mysterious to you. That always works to her advantage. This time she says she has a surprise for you, given what she knows about you… You can only imagine what it could be. Oh well, time to board and shut down.
You’re on your toes the entire flight, you can’t manage to get a lick of work done. Ugh. Hopefully you’ll have your wits about you later.
You land and you get one text that says simply “Surprise is at the hotel. Meet at the usual spot.” A shiver runs down your spine and your cheeks burn. Holy shit, what did she send to the hotel? Fuck. Your mind is racing and the obnoxious hum of the Uber driver’s too loud-not your taste music fades away into the background. You are too fixated on what awaits you at the hotel and then later, in her clutches.
The lobby seems entirely too bright when you walk in and you float over to the check in desk. “Hi, um..” you stammer. “I’d like to check in. I believe you have something for me too..?” The woman behind the desk smiles brightly and acknowledges you, taps her keyboard then hands you two key cards and a shipped box. “Can I help you with anything else?” she queries but you are completely lost to the world.
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. She sent it. She actually sent it. You feel your excitement starting to build. You suddenly snap back to reality and the check in desk girl is staring at you. “Uh, sorry.” You blurt out. “Long flight.” She shrugs and repeats her question. You decline, thank her and excuse yourself quickly. Being careful to hold your personal items in such a way to not disclose your excitement to any casual passers by.
Up in your hotel room you are brimming with anticipation, staring at your box. Yet you don’t dare open it without permission from your Mistress. You fired off a text as soon as you were in the elevator but it feels like every second is taking an eternity. Finally, a reply. “Yes, open it. You’ll know what I want you to do with it.” The text is almost too much for you but you steady yourself and tear into the box.
Of course. Packed neatly inside the discreet box is your very own chastity device. You gulp, you were on edge before you got on the plane and now you know you’ll be in for more torment. You get so compliant and obedient when you’re locked. She knows just how to push your buttons, you can’t help but comply. The device is snug but it fits just right, you can’t help but obey and put it on. With a click, it locks securely. For a moment, you feel panic and decide to back out. Unfortunately, there’s no key in the box. Fuck. Your phone lights up… It’s a text. “Freaking out yet? You’ll have to earn that key back… This is going to be a fun trip!”
You feel yourself strain against the cage. Oh. Fuck…
As some of you may have noticed, I have added a bunch of new photos to my website and social media! Thanks to the wonderful Chris Blakeley, I have a gorgeous, high drama photo set for you all to perv on.
I have also added and made changes to my duo partners list by adding photos, descriptions and new folks!
As far as my personal life I am currently dealing with tax season (which is more annoying and time consuming than anything but at the end of the day, supporting my fellow humans is important to me) and I have a new relationship with a lovely little lady from Canada who will hopefully be spending the summer with me to apprentice under me and make horrible videos.
Let’s be fucking honest here, who doesn’t want to watch me hit that?
Maybe if you’re a good boy I’ll let you clean up afterwards. 😉
Sometimes.. I feel dirty for what I like, what I want, what I need… It feels wrong and shameful to need what I do. I mean that completely. I need to fuck, I need sexual energy. Not just sex, not just an activity… The interactions, the rush, the desire.. Everything. The moments spent thinking about touching someone, feeling them completely, drawing them in and making them want more… Your sexual frustration is so delicious to me.
I don’t need it to come. I don’t need it to validate me. I don’t even need it to confirm anything other than the fact that I am alive and I am blessed with this body. This body loves me and I love it too, I want to share it to show just how good the experience of living can be. How decadent human touch can feel… How intoxicating Just a look can be. This body loves to fuck.
Every time I meet someone I feel a rush of excitement because I get to taste the sexual energy again. It doesn’t matter what the activity is as long as there’s a connection, an exchange of energy. It feels good. Sometimes it feels so good that I feel for enjoying it so much. It’s almost like nothing can be that good and not be bad for me. I know it used to be…
The guilt I feel about my sexuality is conditioned into me, it’s designed to keep me reined in; When I’m free of guilt and emotional limitations I happily eat men whole and the power that comes with it is intoxicating… There’s so much desire aimed in my direction and if I let it in, it consumes me. I become a full fledged succubus with my fangs out and I’m insatiable in every measurable way. It’s dangerous and I think every woman has a succubus inside of her, society just keeps them chained up.
When I was little, I tied up my barbies and made them rape each other while Ken sat in his corner with his pink frilly dress and watched. He wanted to be involved but he wasn’t allowed, he had to watch as what should have been his women were violated by someone else and what was worse was that they loved it. I couldn’t have been older than 6 when I did this. Slowly, I became aware that sexual acts were seen as dirty by society but it took several more years before I realized what I was doing was sexual and that was only after I had been masturbating to thoughts of non-consent and power play for a great while.
Once all the pieces of sexuality and societal expectations fell into place for me, I felt ashamed and dirty so I cut myself off from sexuality and I looked down on people who were sexual. I think this happens to most women to be honest and it keeps us docile and quiet; Sexuality is not okay, unless it’s with a man you love and it’s in private and then sometimes it’s okay but it depends. Luckily, I don’t buy that shit anymore.
You know what? You look tasty..
Here are several more paragraphs from the Lucky Boy about his experiences in chastity, getting a reward, disappointing me and my response to the disappointment. Enjoy!
Miss Ruby took me to her space, tied me and blindfolded me. Now, I had been told not to wear my chastity cage that night so, there I was blindfolded, pants around my legs and my cock hard, dripping and aching for Miss Ruby. I had no idea what would come next and her mastery at being in charge only fueled my sexual desires even more. Miss Ruby invaded my ass, stroked my cock, clamped my nipples and took complete control over my willing body. I wasn’t allowed to cum and she brought me closer and closer to the edge and then back again. I had such a desire to cum but my desire to be good overcame it. Then she gave me permission to and I couldn’t. I wanted to so bad, I was right there on the edge and I tried and tried and Miss Ruby was being so good to me and giving me everything and more than I should have needed to cum but I just wouldn’t. It was like this frustrating combination of all my insecurities and having not cum in almost three weeks and I never came. After we were done and I was left frustrated, feeling like I had been a disappointment, Miss Ruby informed me that I was not allowed to cum and she also gave me some new chastity rules.
Whether or not I had truly been a disappointment that night, only Miss Ruby knows. However, what undeniably was a disappointment was me, the following morning. Not only did I break the chastity rule while shortcutting but, while doing so I also broke the rule of not being allowed to cum. I was so frustrated with having not cum and still so heated with my desires for Miss Ruby that I took from her what was hers, what I had voluntarily given up control of. It was one of the worst orgasms I’ve ever had. It was painful and I felt like such a disappointment during and after. I felt pathetic. I chastised myself and argued with myself all morning between telling Miss Ruby and not telling her. I knew that I had to be honest so I sent her a text telling her what had happened. I waited and waited and since having met her I had the worst day at work. I was close to tears throughout that day. I mean, she had taken such good care of me the night before and I ruined it all with one little selfish action. I just knew that she would be angry and feared she wouldn’t even want to have anything to do with this pathetic submissive who was untrustworthy. She did forgive me but, she was worried and rightfully so. I was relieved that she forgave me and I got to go and see her again that evening.
We spent that evening visiting and discussing what I had done. I couldn’t even look at her unashamedly for the longest time and she could definitely tell. Miss Ruby seems to be able to peer into my soul and see exactly what I need, deserve, what I desire and if not, she certainly knows how to get it out of me. That evening I had the sincere pleasure of staying the night. It felt absolutely amazing sleeping next to her. Miss Ruby’s body not only looks perfect but it also feels perfect. Her soft skin, soothing voice and her touch, oh that touch, are all so amazingly delightful to be curled up next to. I got to lay there with my head on her chest for quite some time, listening to her heartbeat as it lulled me off to sleep. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had in quite some time and even though I only got a few hours I felt rejuvenated. I was the happiest boy at work the following day and people couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. I was goofy and playful and probably the most positive that I’d been in quite some time. Miss Ruby had forgiven me, I did have a punishment coming, but her forgiveness and her desire to still want to see me and not give up on me meant so much to me. I have this fear in relationships that I’m going to be tossed to the side, be given up on, or just suddenly and without warning cut off. It’s happened to me in the past and it frightens me to the point to where I pretty much just expect it. I’ve avoided some potentially meaningful relationships in the past or ended some because of this fear. I hate having that fear but, I have this trust, feeling or, whatever you want to call it that Miss Ruby’s not going to give up. She seems to want me to serve her, to be a good boy for her and I have every intention to do my best for her.
I got to stay with her the following night as well and spent most of the next day by her side too. We slept in together, she held me, she teased me and, she made me feel safe. I enjoyed every moment with Miss Ruby. We worked on a project together and I got to see a really fun and funny side to her. There was barely a moment where we weren’t either laughing, touching or just simply enjoying each other’s company. All of the kink aside, it’s a real treat to be around someone you can have that kind of a connection with. She makes me feel not only like a good submissive but also like a special person who’s worth her time to be around and who is adding something to her life. I don’t ever want to take away from Miss Ruby. I hope that I can be just as good to her as she’s been to me.
As for everything else, I’ve offered to take pain for Miss Ruby. I’ve always felt that BDSM was a two way street. There is a reason why Dom’s are Dom’s and sub’s are sub’s. I want to take her pain, I want to be her good boy, her whore, trustworthy boy, friend, submissive – whatever she needs. What I don’t ever want to be and what I will put every effort into; is to never be a disappointment again.
The following is a paragraph from a short story that I asked my new house boy to write after having met me. I enjoyed reading it so much that I thought I would share it with everyone. 🙂
It could be pheromones, it could be that she’s fucking gorgeous, it could be her natural presence of a strong and successful woman who knows what she wants and how to get it or, maybe it’s all of those and more rolled into one irresistible package. What I do know, is the moment Miss Ruby walked into that café I didn’t care one single bit about anyone else seated nearby or around. Usually, I’m always conscious of my surroundings. I scan the people sitting all around me, the people coming and going but fuck them, fuck the waitress, fuck the people walking by on the street, I had Miss Ruby sitting in front of me. She was intoxicating, like in the old movies where the beautiful female singer is strolling down the staircase and singing in some dark and sultry voice, all eyes are on her and everyone wants to be the lucky one. She was dressed sexy, not trashy or underdressed or trying to wear something she wasn’t comfortable in but dressed like she knew what she was doing and was confident about what she was walking around in. She had the most amazing smile which draws you in and makes you want to smile and all encompassed in these beautiful full lips that she has. Lips that make you want to beg for a kiss right then and there even though you know that you don’t deserve that kiss. She was intelligent, knew how to convey her thoughts and actually had thoughts to convey and they all made me think. It’s a real blessing to be with someone who makes you think, even when you don’t want to or about things that you don’t want to. Someone who can stroke your mind is a thousand times more irresistible than someone who can stroke your cock. She had insights into life that made me look at things a different way and had a truly believable caring quality about her. And yes, this was all before we had even ordered food. Miss Ruby was a dominant woman that I wanted to serve. When we did get food, she placed some of hers on a fork and fed it to me, it felt oddly perfect and I took what she offered to me as something sacred, like I was the luckiest boy on the planet to get to have a bite of what was on her plate. I may have been smiling the entire time I first met Miss Ruby.
Who knows, maybe all of you will be lucky enough to read the rest.