Archive For The “Please The Mistress” Category
Well, it has been a while, hasn’t it? Between travel, taxes, working and getting everything organized I have had little time to work on sites.
In light of my birthday this coming month (April) I have decided to offer a free 30 minute upgrade to anyone else whose birth month is April or who has seen me 3 or more times! 🙂
Also, I am debating throwing a play party. 🙂
In case you were interested in getting me something for my birthday, here is my wishlist.
Louboutin So Kate in Black, size 40
Winter Fetish PVC catsuit with bust cups in Black, size Medium tall
Clear PVC underbust corset with black boning and black eyelets, size large
We vibe 4 Plus in Pink or Purple 😉 Long distance girlfriend, ftw
Hitach Magic Wand, I want like 4 of them. Seriously.
Fun Factory Share XL, either color. Did I mention, girlfriend?
Or anything from my Amazon Wishlist/a gift card from one of my favorite stores!
Just now I looked in my fridge to find nothing but fancy noshes and fancy booze which led me to have the strangest “this is my life” moment I think I’ve ever experienced… Upon discovering that I didn’t really have any real food, I thought about the not so inexpensive purchases I had just made in the name of making my space feel more comfortable and I panicked. I literally panicked because I couldn’t see anything really wrong in the direction that my life appears to be going in; I’ve found my rhythm, a good routine, things I love doing and I’m not freaking out about having spent a couple hundred bucks. I feel like I should be flipping my shit right now because in the past when I wasn’t freaking out, I was missing something big and important. Sure, there are things that I’m worried about (having screwed up my taxes, sorting out bills, old family IRS debt…) but I’ve done a pretty good job of not having massive panic attacks recently so I guess I was anxious about not being anxious? The fuck… Okay brain, thanks.
So why anxiety? In the past I thought anxiety was like a convenient motivating force but now I see it as a damaging but comfortable pattern of thinking. It’s always there, looming… So it’s comfortable to lean on because it’s reliable and a constant force, although very damaging. When I was in its grasp I didn’t see how damaging it was to me and I’m sure I’ll likely forget how good it feels to live without panic and I’ll have to remind myself again because that’s how I am. Hell, the tattoo on my chest is a fucking reminder (Memento style) to not be so anxious and I STILL manage to forget. what pushed me over the edge this time was thinking about buying new bedding and thinking about how much I hated my room and wanted a change. I was nervous about spending the money because “What if something bad happens?” Then I realized that I didn’t do a lot of things for that reason and that waiting for bad things to happen means that I would be missing all of the good things that life has to offer. So I thought “Fuck that!” and promptly bought the expensive bed spread and started completely re-decorating. Which has now involved a complete re-arrange of furniture, painting, re-doing the cabinets and a purchase of throw pillows, a head board, curtains and a fucking chandelier because I fucking could. Do I regret it? Meh, not yet. Am I excited about it and energized by the idea of making my space more awesome? FUCK YES I AM!!!
If being overjoyed about my house and inspired to do a bunch of projects costs the price of a new bed spread, pillows, sheets, a headboard, some wood stain, cabinet pulls and a chandelier then I’m fine with that. Worse things have definitely happened.
For those of you who know me well, you may have noticed that there are a few places where you can almost always find me; Turns out I’m an agoraphobe so going out into the world is scary for me and I’ve gotten very good at avoiding going out into the world. I recently realized this because it came to my attention that the list of people I interact with face to face is very small and that I haven’t gone out in public with friends in…. An embarrassingly long time. Whoops.
So of course I impulsively decided to go on a road trip to California, classic me.
The last couple of days have been really hard for me because I’ve flat out refused to go outside because according to my brain “there are weird people who make a lot of noise outside. Oh god, are they drinking outside in day light? They are! And they’re playing MUSIC! I can’t possibly go there.” So because I’ve been scared of going outside I haven’t done much which has given me the opportunity to notice that I’m home sick. Awesome.
Tonight I began giving it some real thought while debating where I should travel to next and I realized that I’m not scared of being outside, I’m scared of people. I spent a lot of my adolescence and young adulthood trying to find out where I fit in and I ended up in a lot of really awful social circles, in hopes that I would be accepted there. I believe my thought process was something along the lines of “These people look weird, I act weird, we must be THE SAME!” Unfortunately, I was wrong and I freaked out a lot of people and experienced a lot of really painful rejection.
Becoming a sex worker has allowed me to be myself but it has also allowed me to select the kind of people who can be around me which I feel is starting to do me a disservice; I’m physically very alienated from people and the vast majority of the time I get to stay in my safe little bubble, away from all the people who scare me. While being safe is awesome and being comfortable is wonderful, if I spend too much time in my own little world I will completely lose touch with reality and I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.
I have a proposition for the masses: You suggest a place (any where in the world, if you don’t live there we could meet there) for me to visit and I’ll try to make it happen. When we’re there I want you to show me your favorite place or something you think is unique or special about that place.
Before the end of the year I am making it a goal to visit Las Vegas and New York City so if you’re in either of those places, write me an email telling me why I should visit there and what you want to show me.
If you want to make me come to you, write me an email with the following information in it!
The Location (You Want to Visit)
Your Favorite Place or Thing About That Place
Why You Think I Should Visit
Your Favorite Color
Oh and here are some photos I had taken in San Francisco.
In 36 hours I’ll be heading home, it’s been a long week. I don’t think I’ve been away from home for this long since I was a kid and I definitely didn’t experience as much then as I did this week; It’s been a week of stress, pain, discovery, wonder, fear, anxiety, excitement, elation, connection and now tears as I write this. I’m not upset, at least I don’t think I am. It mostly feels like I’m over whelmed by everything that has happened and how that has shaped my view of the world, myself and what I want my life to look like.
Boy oh boy, I learned a lot about my friends this week.
The event that stood out the most to me was meeting a couple I see for dinner and getting to connect with the female part of the equation, one on one. She told me that she met her partner through being a high class escort and then asked him to set me up with one of his friends so that he could take care of me. I’ve often thought about exploring that world further but at this point in my life it would mean giving up the security, stability, comfort and understanding I have in my life in hope of finding something better. I had never put a price tag on my life as it is until this week and I realized how much my life is worth to me, as it is. Generally speaking, I’m not a big fan of things that can be described as “stable” or “consistent” because I myself can’t really be described that way and in many scenarios it cramps my style but this is different.
The man I was talking about earlier said something that really stood out to me through the blur of a night of expensive booze, expensive cars, expensive hotels and debauchery: “There is so little magic left in the world. You two are special to me because you show me that magic still exists.” The meaning behind those words hit me hard and started a chain reaction that has caused me to view myself in a different light.
When I was a little girl, my favorite thing in the world was unicorns. To me unicorns are mystical, wise, playful, graceful in life, vulnerable but powerful and they have this uncanny ability to make things work out for them in the best possible way. Unicorns have the ability to heal others, change lives forever and for the better and accomplish astonishingly incredible feats. However, in all the stories I used to read about unicorns when I was a girl there was an unlikely hero or heroine who helped the unicorn overcome any challenges she faced by providing her with simple, practical forms of help. The hero can do things that the unicorn can’t like carry objects and interact normally with other humans but it is a very unlikely pairing because the two seem so incredibly different.
I feel like most little girls are taught to search for a prince and through that, they view themselves as princesses but that’s not me; I’m a unicorn. I don’t need a hero but it certainly makes life a lot easier and less lonesome.
Upon request one of my lovely submissives, P. wrote this for me to surmise his experience with me.
I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of reading about the wonderful experiences that I’ve helped create for other people. Knowing that I can make someone’s day, week, month, year or even lifetime is immensely flattering, enthralling and inspiring; It truly makes me feel like I’m making the world a little bit brighter, in my own weird way.
“I just want to say a little something about Ruby.
I have never seen a “pro” before so she was my first experience there, and as we all know, first impressions are important. I admit I was a bit hesitant, with all that we hear nowadays about being set-up, ripped off, or worse in such circumstances, I was very cautious and a bit edgy.
We met at a casual public place and walked to her place of business.
Ruby soon made me feel at ease. She is not only very sexy, she is very real and very accommodating. We chatted a bit more so she could learn more about what I desired and my limitations. Although I was still feeling a bit self conscience of the large age difference between us, she never gave any indication that she was nothing but pleased to fulfill my fantasy scene.
That being said, once our session began, I was in pure bliss. I won’t get into details, but I’m a pretty kinky dude, and she filled and fulfilled my desires as well as humanly possible. It was the best hour and a half of my life, and the quickest! (note to self, next session must be at least 2 hours or more).
When our official time came to a close, Ruby was so gracious, she made no effort to push me out the door, in fact we sat on the floor and talked at length. At this point I was VERY comfortable with her. If you’re old like me, and a Beatles fan like me, think Norwegian wood.
By now I was actually starting to feel like I was imposing, staying longer than I should. But Ruby is one that is so pleasant to be around, its easy to forget that she is a “provider”, and think of her as a friend.
I envy those who get to spend time with Ruby on a daily basis, she is smart, sexy, beautiful and a genuinely fun person to be around. My only regret is that my time with her is so limited. In short, Ruby can be your dream cum true, if your willing to let her.
If you know me, it’s no secret that I’ve been kinky effectively since I could walk. Previously, I’ve just accepted this as my reality and left it at that but recently I’ve begun thinking about my influences and how they shaped who I am and what I like. Today I’m going to share a few of my influences and what I liked about them.
I think it was the display of power that I was so attracted to; Xenia lures men into a place where they think they’re safe and in control (typically, they would be right as men are often the dominant players in sexual interactions) and then she absolutely turns the tables on them when not only are they least expecting it but they’ve let their guard down. I love the trickery and seduction that is put into such an interaction and I love that she gets off on it even more. In retrospect, I think what really stood out to me about Xenia was that she was a woman; Previously I had only seen men get off on taking control and power.
Xena the Warrior Princess
Okay so, Xena is really campy, I’ll admit that. However, that doesn’t make Xena any less powerful in her world; She kicks ass with reckless abandon, travels on her own, saves men and women from bad guys and seduces men to get what she wants. (Obviously, there is going to be a theme of women using their sexuality to control men here and that says a lot about me.) GO AHEAD, tell me that isn’t empowering?! Sure, she’s a sex object but she chooses to be a sex object because wearing leather is badass and being sexy while you kill demons is fucking cool. I think she only gets saved by a man once or twice and then she almost immediately turns the tables and saves them from an even worse fate. I’m sure I could find many flaws in Xena and probably rip her power to shreds but when I first saw her, that was not what I was thinking about. Honestly, I was too busy being in awe of her kicking ass and taking names in a metal push up bra at the tender age of 6.
Birdy the Mighty
Some Crazy Furry Porn I Found Online
What This Shit Says About Me
First and foremost, I’m fucking weird.
I think I must have found bondage pictures some where when I was a kid because I was forever trying to figure out how to tie up a Barbie with a hog tie (it’s really hard, guys) and when I finally became aware that BDSM was a thing people did, I already knew two and single column ties as well as diamond harnesses and chest harnesses. I’m confident that my preoccupation with power and control is largely influenced by the media I’ve talked about in this post but there’s some information that I just really have no idea where it came from. What I do know is that my biggest fetish is absolutely power exchange and everything that I’m interested in seems to become vastly more interesting when I realize that there’s a power element. Given the influences that I have, that absolutely makes sense.
So I guess the moral of the story is if you don’t want your children to grow up to be kinksters, don’t let them look at BDSM furry porn on the internet. Or Animal Planet, that was bad for me too.
Here are several more paragraphs from the Lucky Boy about his experiences in chastity, getting a reward, disappointing me and my response to the disappointment. Enjoy!
Miss Ruby took me to her space, tied me and blindfolded me. Now, I had been told not to wear my chastity cage that night so, there I was blindfolded, pants around my legs and my cock hard, dripping and aching for Miss Ruby. I had no idea what would come next and her mastery at being in charge only fueled my sexual desires even more. Miss Ruby invaded my ass, stroked my cock, clamped my nipples and took complete control over my willing body. I wasn’t allowed to cum and she brought me closer and closer to the edge and then back again. I had such a desire to cum but my desire to be good overcame it. Then she gave me permission to and I couldn’t. I wanted to so bad, I was right there on the edge and I tried and tried and Miss Ruby was being so good to me and giving me everything and more than I should have needed to cum but I just wouldn’t. It was like this frustrating combination of all my insecurities and having not cum in almost three weeks and I never came. After we were done and I was left frustrated, feeling like I had been a disappointment, Miss Ruby informed me that I was not allowed to cum and she also gave me some new chastity rules.
Whether or not I had truly been a disappointment that night, only Miss Ruby knows. However, what undeniably was a disappointment was me, the following morning. Not only did I break the chastity rule while shortcutting but, while doing so I also broke the rule of not being allowed to cum. I was so frustrated with having not cum and still so heated with my desires for Miss Ruby that I took from her what was hers, what I had voluntarily given up control of. It was one of the worst orgasms I’ve ever had. It was painful and I felt like such a disappointment during and after. I felt pathetic. I chastised myself and argued with myself all morning between telling Miss Ruby and not telling her. I knew that I had to be honest so I sent her a text telling her what had happened. I waited and waited and since having met her I had the worst day at work. I was close to tears throughout that day. I mean, she had taken such good care of me the night before and I ruined it all with one little selfish action. I just knew that she would be angry and feared she wouldn’t even want to have anything to do with this pathetic submissive who was untrustworthy. She did forgive me but, she was worried and rightfully so. I was relieved that she forgave me and I got to go and see her again that evening.
We spent that evening visiting and discussing what I had done. I couldn’t even look at her unashamedly for the longest time and she could definitely tell. Miss Ruby seems to be able to peer into my soul and see exactly what I need, deserve, what I desire and if not, she certainly knows how to get it out of me. That evening I had the sincere pleasure of staying the night. It felt absolutely amazing sleeping next to her. Miss Ruby’s body not only looks perfect but it also feels perfect. Her soft skin, soothing voice and her touch, oh that touch, are all so amazingly delightful to be curled up next to. I got to lay there with my head on her chest for quite some time, listening to her heartbeat as it lulled me off to sleep. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had in quite some time and even though I only got a few hours I felt rejuvenated. I was the happiest boy at work the following day and people couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. I was goofy and playful and probably the most positive that I’d been in quite some time. Miss Ruby had forgiven me, I did have a punishment coming, but her forgiveness and her desire to still want to see me and not give up on me meant so much to me. I have this fear in relationships that I’m going to be tossed to the side, be given up on, or just suddenly and without warning cut off. It’s happened to me in the past and it frightens me to the point to where I pretty much just expect it. I’ve avoided some potentially meaningful relationships in the past or ended some because of this fear. I hate having that fear but, I have this trust, feeling or, whatever you want to call it that Miss Ruby’s not going to give up. She seems to want me to serve her, to be a good boy for her and I have every intention to do my best for her.
I got to stay with her the following night as well and spent most of the next day by her side too. We slept in together, she held me, she teased me and, she made me feel safe. I enjoyed every moment with Miss Ruby. We worked on a project together and I got to see a really fun and funny side to her. There was barely a moment where we weren’t either laughing, touching or just simply enjoying each other’s company. All of the kink aside, it’s a real treat to be around someone you can have that kind of a connection with. She makes me feel not only like a good submissive but also like a special person who’s worth her time to be around and who is adding something to her life. I don’t ever want to take away from Miss Ruby. I hope that I can be just as good to her as she’s been to me.
As for everything else, I’ve offered to take pain for Miss Ruby. I’ve always felt that BDSM was a two way street. There is a reason why Dom’s are Dom’s and sub’s are sub’s. I want to take her pain, I want to be her good boy, her whore, trustworthy boy, friend, submissive – whatever she needs. What I don’t ever want to be and what I will put every effort into; is to never be a disappointment again.
The following is a write up I asked of one of my long distance submissives. This write up is about what his idea of the perfect dominant/submissive looks like and what submission means for him.
I have always thought of submission as the ultimate gift to a Dominant partner. The biggest fear is that the Dominant will not view this gift to be as special as the person giving it. I think it’s very important to be treated well as a sub. If I feel special to a Dominant I will move mountains for them. I also think it is up to the sub to relinquish all control to the Dominant with trust they are making decisions in your best interest whether you agree with them or not. If these two parts are present in a relationship the sky is the limit. In my own situation I finally feel I have someone I trust enough to give my gift of submission to. She makes me want to be a better person, a better husband, and a better father. I love to do everything she ask and more because I know it makes her feel special. The things I would like to do in the future are encourage her to take more and more control. The more she controls me the more I know how much I mean to her. The great thing is she praises me doing things well which is as good as foreplay to my submissive nature. I would like for here to chastise me at some point not because I need it for temptations of other women but as a way to remind me constantly who owns my heart, body, and soul. Also maybe some day we could use spanking as a way to establish a corrective action. Sexually she dominates me already by initiating sex which I totally am into. I think I am very close to where I want to be but the chastity and spanking would be such a great addition to our relationship. Some of my friends say I am pussywhipped and I say YES I am end of conversation. I have no problem admitting that she wears the pants in the relationship. Most men do not understand that it is a privilege to be pussywhipped. This means someone cares enough about you to invest time into your development into a better person. To me dominance means love. Dominance is a tool to shape you what they want you to become. If you trust that person enough they will improve you. I cant explain enough what a gift I have received from Miss Ruby to be able to talk about my desires and how to make them happen. Her guidance and firm hand have paved the way to happiness for me. I hope she realizes how treasured my time with her is. She is the best marriage councilor in the world. I cannot wait to achieve new levels of submission to my wife with her help. YES I am pussywhipped and love it!
The following is a paragraph from a short story that I asked my new house boy to write after having met me. I enjoyed reading it so much that I thought I would share it with everyone. 🙂
It could be pheromones, it could be that she’s fucking gorgeous, it could be her natural presence of a strong and successful woman who knows what she wants and how to get it or, maybe it’s all of those and more rolled into one irresistible package. What I do know, is the moment Miss Ruby walked into that café I didn’t care one single bit about anyone else seated nearby or around. Usually, I’m always conscious of my surroundings. I scan the people sitting all around me, the people coming and going but fuck them, fuck the waitress, fuck the people walking by on the street, I had Miss Ruby sitting in front of me. She was intoxicating, like in the old movies where the beautiful female singer is strolling down the staircase and singing in some dark and sultry voice, all eyes are on her and everyone wants to be the lucky one. She was dressed sexy, not trashy or underdressed or trying to wear something she wasn’t comfortable in but dressed like she knew what she was doing and was confident about what she was walking around in. She had the most amazing smile which draws you in and makes you want to smile and all encompassed in these beautiful full lips that she has. Lips that make you want to beg for a kiss right then and there even though you know that you don’t deserve that kiss. She was intelligent, knew how to convey her thoughts and actually had thoughts to convey and they all made me think. It’s a real blessing to be with someone who makes you think, even when you don’t want to or about things that you don’t want to. Someone who can stroke your mind is a thousand times more irresistible than someone who can stroke your cock. She had insights into life that made me look at things a different way and had a truly believable caring quality about her. And yes, this was all before we had even ordered food. Miss Ruby was a dominant woman that I wanted to serve. When we did get food, she placed some of hers on a fork and fed it to me, it felt oddly perfect and I took what she offered to me as something sacred, like I was the luckiest boy on the planet to get to have a bite of what was on her plate. I may have been smiling the entire time I first met Miss Ruby.
Who knows, maybe all of you will be lucky enough to read the rest.
I’ve decided to start making some free content that I’m going to post through some sharing sites and some on youtube (no nudity, obviously.)
So that leaves you with the task of providing me with ideas!