Chronicle of Deviant Behavior

A Lucky Boy in Chastity

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Here are several more paragraphs from the Lucky Boy about his experiences in chastity, getting a reward, disappointing me and my response to the disappointment. Enjoy!

Miss Ruby took me to her space, tied me and blindfolded me. Now, I had been told not to wear my chastity cage that night so, there I was blindfolded, pants around my legs and my cock hard, dripping and aching for Miss Ruby. I had no idea what would come next and her mastery at being in charge only fueled my sexual desires even more. Miss Ruby invaded my ass, stroked my cock, clamped my nipples and took complete control over my willing body. I wasn’t allowed to cum and she brought me closer and closer to the edge and then back again. I had such a desire to cum but my desire to be good overcame it. Then she gave me permission to and I couldn’t. I wanted to so bad, I was right there on the edge and I tried and tried and Miss Ruby was being so good to me and giving me everything and more than I should have needed to cum but I just wouldn’t. It was like this frustrating combination of all my insecurities and having not cum in almost three weeks and I never came. After we were done and I was left frustrated, feeling like I had been a disappointment, Miss Ruby informed me that I was not allowed to cum and she also gave me some new chastity rules.

Whether or not I had truly been a disappointment that night, only Miss Ruby knows. However, what undeniably was a disappointment was me, the following morning. Not only did I break the chastity rule while shortcutting but, while doing so I also broke the rule of not being allowed to cum. I was so frustrated with having not cum and still so heated with my desires for Miss Ruby that I took from her what was hers, what I had voluntarily given up control of. It was one of the worst orgasms I’ve ever had. It was painful and I felt like such a disappointment during and after. I felt pathetic. I chastised myself and argued with myself all morning between telling Miss Ruby and not telling her. I knew that I had to be honest so I sent her a text telling her what had happened. I waited and waited and since having met her I had the worst day at work. I was close to tears throughout that day. I mean, she had taken such good care of me the night before and I ruined it all with one little selfish action. I just knew that she would be angry and feared she wouldn’t even want to have anything to do with this pathetic submissive who was untrustworthy. She did forgive me but, she was worried and rightfully so. I was relieved that she forgave me and I got to go and see her again that evening.

We spent that evening visiting and discussing what I had done. I couldn’t even look at her unashamedly for the longest time and she could definitely tell. Miss Ruby seems to be able to peer into my soul and see exactly what I need, deserve, what I desire and if not, she certainly knows how to get it out of me. That evening I had the sincere pleasure of staying the night. It felt absolutely amazing sleeping next to her. Miss Ruby’s body not only looks perfect but it also feels perfect. Her soft skin, soothing voice and her touch, oh that touch, are all so amazingly delightful to be curled up next to. I got to lay there with my head on her chest for quite some time, listening to her heartbeat as it lulled me off to sleep. It was the best night’s sleep I’d had in quite some time and even though I only got a few hours I felt rejuvenated. I was the happiest boy at work the following day and people couldn’t figure out what was going on with me. I was goofy and playful and probably the most positive that I’d been in quite some time. Miss Ruby had forgiven me, I did have a punishment coming, but her forgiveness and her desire to still want to see me and not give up on me meant so much to me. I have this fear in relationships that I’m going to be tossed to the side, be given up on, or just suddenly and without warning cut off. It’s happened to me in the past and it frightens me to the point to where I pretty much just expect it. I’ve avoided some potentially meaningful relationships in the past or ended some because of this fear. I hate having that fear but, I have this trust, feeling or, whatever you want to call it that Miss Ruby’s not going to give up. She seems to want me to serve her, to be a good boy for her and I have every intention to do my best for her. 

I got to stay with her the following night as well and spent most of the next day by her side too. We slept in together, she held me, she teased me and, she made me feel safe. I enjoyed every moment with Miss Ruby. We worked on a project together and I got to see a really fun and funny side to her. There was barely a moment where we weren’t either laughing, touching or just simply enjoying each other’s company. All of the kink aside, it’s a real treat to be around someone you can have that kind of a connection with. She makes me feel not only like a good submissive but also like a special person who’s worth her time to be around and who is adding something to her life. I don’t ever want to take away from Miss Ruby. I hope that I can be just as good to her as she’s been to me. 

As for everything else, I’ve offered to take pain for Miss Ruby. I’ve always felt that BDSM was a two way street. There is a reason why Dom’s are Dom’s and sub’s are sub’s. I want to take her pain, I want to be her good boy, her whore, trustworthy boy, friend, submissive – whatever she needs. What I don’t ever want to be and what I will put every effort into; is to never be a disappointment again.

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The Ultimate Submissive Relationship

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The following is a write up I asked of one of my long distance submissives. This write up is about what his idea of the perfect dominant/submissive looks like and what submission means for him.

I have always thought of submission as the ultimate gift to a Dominant partner. The biggest fear is that the Dominant will not view this gift to be as special as the person giving it. I think it’s very important to be treated well as a sub. If I feel special to a Dominant I will move mountains for them. I also think it is up to the sub to relinquish all control to the Dominant with trust they are making decisions in your best interest whether you agree with them or not. If these two parts are present in a relationship the sky is the limit. In my own situation I finally feel I have someone I trust enough to give my gift of submission to. She makes me want to be a better person, a better husband, and a better father. I love to do everything she ask and more because I know it makes her feel special. The things I would like to do in the future are encourage her to take more and more control. The more she controls me the more I know how much I mean to her. The great thing is she praises me doing things well which is as good as foreplay to my submissive nature. I would like for here to chastise me at some point not because I need it for temptations of other women but as a way to remind me constantly who owns my heart, body, and soul. Also maybe some day we could use spanking as a way to establish a corrective action. Sexually she dominates me already by initiating sex which I totally am into. I think I am very close to where I want to be but the chastity and spanking would be such a great addition to our relationship. Some of my friends say I am pussywhipped and I say YES I am end of conversation. I have no problem admitting that she wears the pants in the relationship. Most men do not understand that it is a privilege to be pussywhipped. This means someone cares enough about you to invest time into your development into a better person. To me dominance means love. Dominance is a tool to shape you what they want you to become. If you trust that person enough they will improve you. I cant explain enough what a gift I have received from Miss Ruby to be able to talk about my desires and how to make them happen. Her guidance and firm hand have paved the way to happiness for me. I hope she realizes how treasured my time with her is. She is the best marriage councilor in the world. I cannot wait to  achieve new levels of submission to my wife with her help. YES I am pussywhipped and love it!

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A Lucky Boy

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The following is a paragraph from a short story that I asked my new house boy to write after having met me. I enjoyed reading it so much that I thought I would share it with everyone. 🙂

It could be pheromones, it could be that she’s fucking gorgeous, it could be her natural presence of a strong and successful woman who knows what she wants and how to get it or, maybe it’s all of those and more rolled into one irresistible package. What I do know, is the moment Miss Ruby walked into that café I didn’t care one single bit about anyone else seated nearby or around. Usually, I’m always conscious of my surroundings. I scan the people sitting all around me, the people coming and going but fuck them, fuck the waitress, fuck the people walking by on the street, I had Miss Ruby sitting in front of me. She was intoxicating, like in the old movies where the beautiful female singer is strolling down the staircase and singing in some dark and sultry voice, all eyes are on her and everyone wants to be the lucky one. She was dressed sexy, not trashy or underdressed or trying to wear something she wasn’t comfortable in but dressed like she knew what she was doing and was confident about what she was walking around in. She had the most amazing smile which draws you in and makes you want to smile and all encompassed in these beautiful full lips that she has. Lips that make you want to beg for a kiss right then and there even though you know that you don’t deserve that kiss. She was intelligent, knew how to convey her thoughts and actually had thoughts to convey and they all made me think. It’s a real blessing to be with someone who makes you think, even when you don’t want to or about things that you don’t want to. Someone who can stroke your mind is a thousand times more irresistible than someone who can stroke your cock. She had insights into life that made me look at things a different way and had a truly believable caring quality about her. And yes, this was all before we had even ordered food. Miss Ruby was a dominant woman that I wanted to serve. When we did get food, she placed some of hers on a fork and fed it to me, it felt oddly perfect and I took what she offered to me as something sacred, like I was the luckiest boy on the planet to get to have a bite of what was on her plate. I may have been smiling the entire time I first met Miss Ruby.

Who knows, maybe all of you will be lucky enough to read the rest.

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Jack; More than a Client

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“I’m not into anything weird.” He said, unabashedly but rather awkwardly. Immediately, I knew he was different but I didn’t know what exactly to make of him. “Maybe… He’s lying.” was of course my first thought and of course if someone is lying to a professional who deals with the deepest and darkest desires and fantasies of others it must either be something really awful or something really awful must have happened to him and now he feels the need to conceal his true intentions and desires. Either way, it was a cause for concern.  That concern only grew when he informed me that he just wanted to hangout with me over dinner, in public and chat about shit that regular people talk about. Don’t get me wrong; I think I’m pretty freaking awesome but honestly, who pays someone to just shoot the shit?

Apparently Jack does.
And Jack is awesome.

Jack is a funny guy; He’s straight laced with a very off color sense of humor (in fact he has supplied me with the absolutely WORST jokes I have in my arsenal), he’s the most casually professional person I have ever met, he looks a lot like the first boy I ever loved and he is dying (which he confessed to me once and then promptly forgot.)  Jack is hilarious, what he does is hilarious, his sense of humor, his ideas, the way he conducts himself; Everything. It is impossible to be uncomfortable around him and even more impossible to feel threatened by him. He is genuinely a great a person and because of who he is he is hands down my favorite client, hell I consider him a real friend.

For most people who work in any service industry it’s very easy to separate work from personal life but in a field where you are selling intimacy and trust, the lines become a bit blurred. To be honest, I make almost no attempt to separate the two because I hate feeling as if I am not being genuine. For me because I identify as polyamorous, every client I see is a relationship in a certain sense although it is one with a very defined exchange, well laid out limitations and often a set end time. In this kind of mindset I allow myself to really connect with other people and be who I am as a person as well as a Domina; I don’t fake my way through meetings.

For someone like myself (an empath, specifically) it’s really important for me to connect with people and as Domina who fetishizes transforming people and pushing them to their limits I have to understand my submissive entirely and read their responses with very few, if any, errors. Meeting Jack helped me understand the importance of not being impersonal and allowing myself to comfortably and safely connect with the people I see. This, if anything is what really sets me apart from other dominas (although many that I know in Seattle also do this.)

To bring this all back to my original point; Meeting Jack made me a better person and significantly improved my life, as much of this line of work has done. Thank you Jack, for contributing to my growth and overall person. 🙂

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