erotica

More than a Fantasy

The world of day dreams and fantasy is one that I have often found so captivating. In this realm, reality does not apply but that is also the draw back. I’ve caught my mind wandering to stranger and stranger places, ones that are familiar to me if I’m truly honest but that I hesitate to speak about to others. That is the power and captivation of the fantasy dreamland- I need not worry what others think. Sometimes I dare to wonder, do others have the same proclivities? If I wish hard enough, I can imagine a partner who is a perfect mirror to my perversions. Indulgent, wicked, precise. Without much appearance of effort, she has me in her clutches. Here is where I find myself, browsing the internet nestled in the privacy of my self indulgence. The world out there is vast, expanding further than my crude searches can encapsulate. Still, I fumble my way through erotic, tantalizing and quite graphic content until seemingly by fate.. I find her. Again, I dare to wonder. Could my desires be more than just a fantasy? With a click on a button, they are all but a fantasy.

First Time Anxiety

You have some desires that keep persisting. You’ve tried to escape them, push them down, ignore them, forget that they’re there. Why is that? You’ve often asked yourself this. You’re afraid that others won’t accept you as you are. For that reason and many others, it just makes sense to keep your fantasies to yourself. That’s just not enough anymore though. You’re craving something more and most of all, you want to express your desires and be seen. The first time you message her, you feel your pulse quicken. You’re so nervous. You’ve talked yourself out of contacting her so many times but for some reason right now you feel emboldened. You’ve pressed send and it’s out of your hands now. You’ve taken the first step to giving up control and you don’t know how you feel about it. Some part of it feels like a relief and another part of you is panicking. Faster than you expected you have a reply. You don’t want to fuck this up, it took you so long to write your first message. For some reason her reply puts you at ease and makes the whole situation feel more normal. By association, you feel more normal. This was easier than you expected. All you have to do now is follow instructions and wait. The waiting is always the hardest part. You’ve been on the edge of your seat but you’ve crossed all your I’s and dotted your T’s. You’re so anxious that it’s all …

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