slave task

The Ultimate Femdom Gift Giving Guide

What is the ultimate slave task? Understanding your Mistress. Think of your research into her/their preferences as slave training. Are you trying to impress your Mistress? Make her happy? GOOD. That is exactly what you should be doing as her loyal servant. A birthday shouldn’t pass without you celebrating with your Mistress. 

I’m turning 30 in the middle of April so I decided to create an easy guide for my loyal subs to find me a gift that we both will enjoy.

As with all gift giving, you should ask yourself “is this for them or is it for me?” The latter is fine but you should acknowledge that you are giving them a gift for you rather than investigating what they might want. If you want to knock it out of the ballpark, your best methods for success are research and paying attention. I think that successful gifting is based on how well you know someone’s love language which relates to their gift preferences.

  1. Service

Does your dominant talk about wanting to be able to do something or have something done but they don’t have the bandwidth, time or energy to do it themselves? Easy. If you can make it happen for them, do so. Ask questions if you aren’t sure of something. A great example of this is The Garden Path that one of my subs commissioned for me on my birthday a few years ago. I enjoy it immensely and it was one of the best gifts I’ve gotten.

  1. Something Useful

Everyone loves having that magic thing that fills a hole in their life or solves a problem, maybe one they didn’t know they had. In order to achieve this, you must know them well. A great example from my life is receiving a very nice set of knives when I started cooking. I didn’t know how amazing good knives are compared to the crappy ones I was using.

  1. Something Practical

Finding something practical that someone needs or wants is a pretty easy gifting opportunity and they will think of you whenever they use it. I have gotten tennis shoes, a sofa, clothes, kitchen items, things for my cats, gift cards that enabled me to complete a project or simply enjoy something. 

  1. Luxury Items

I feel that anything outside of the realm of what someone will normally spend on themselves is a luxury gift.Or an upgrade to something they already have. You usually have to ask or do research but it can be immensely exciting to get a gift that you wouldn’t buy for yourself. I’ve received jewelry, shoes, lingerie, dungeon furniture and a NAS set up to backup all my media.

  1. An Experience 

Do they talk about wanting to go somewhere or do something? Perfect! Whether it’s a trip to the spa or a trip to the beach, experiences are precious and the memory doesn’t fade. I’ve been taken on trips, taken to events, done crazy things and had my spa trips paid for. Big or small, I’ve loved every experience.

Image (c) Forbes

4 Problems Submissives Face and How to Cope

train your husband to be your bdsm slave

I’m Afraid of Rejection

Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5.

So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/

My Partner Isn’t Interested

The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout.

I Can’t Say What I Want

Communication in all contexts is critical. Especially when it comes to play. At a certain point, you just have to bite the bullet and try to have a discussion Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Playing Went Wrong

I’m Afraid of Rejection

Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5.

So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/

My Partner Isn’t Interested

The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout.

I Can’t Say What I Want

Communication in all contexts is critical. Especially when it comes to play. At a certain point, you just have to bite the bullet and try to have a discussion Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Playing Went Wrong

Preach to the choir, we have all had something go wrong at some point. That is how you learn and the beauty of doing it with someone who is compassionate s that you ideally should be able to learn together. At least, that has largely been my experience. Sometimes it takes some time to find the right way to phrase things, communicate your needs or even find the right people but if you’re patient and diligent, you will find what you’re looking for.