Archive For The “Seattle Mistress” Category
You have some desires that keep persisting. You’ve tried to escape them, push them down, ignore them, forget that they’re there. Why is that? You’ve often asked yourself this. You’re afraid that others won’t accept you as you are. For that reason and many others, it just makes sense to keep your fantasies to yourself. That’s just not enough anymore though. You’re craving something more and most of all, you want to express your desires and be seen.
The first time you message her, you feel your pulse quicken. You’re so nervous. You’ve talked yourself out of contacting her so many times but for some reason right now you feel emboldened. You’ve pressed send and it’s out of your hands now. You’ve taken the first step to giving up control and you don’t know how you feel about it. Some part of it feels like a relief and another part of you is panicking.
Faster than you expected you have a reply. You don’t want to fuck this up, it took you so long to write your first message. For some reason her reply puts you at ease and makes the whole situation feel more normal. By association, you feel more normal. This was easier than you expected. All you have to do now is follow instructions and wait. The waiting is always the hardest part.
You’ve been on the edge of your seat but you’ve crossed all your I’s and dotted your T’s. You’re so anxious that it’s all you can think about. You think about bailing but you’ve come this far, so you couldn’t possibly. You’re drawn through the day as if you’re in a hazy daydream until you find yourself face to face with her. Suddenly, crashing back to reality in a bundle of nerves.
You find yourself lured in by the casual conversation, slowly leading you down a darker pathway. You find yourself at ease, comfortable and feeling unconcerned with how your interests may make you appear. You find yourself drawn in and compelled to confess. How did that happen? Hm.. You simply fall under her spell deeper. Settling into this world of nonjudgement.
Corset training can be an excellent part of any feminization routine or a wonderful set of sissy tasks. If you want to make your body more feminine, it’s a great way to do it without any big changes, so it’s a great option for a man, sissy or casual player to explore. They can range from cheap to very pricey depending on your needs, budget and how fancy you want to be. That being said, you can often get what you need for your closet without breaking the bank.
I’m going to answer some basic questions that you may have about how to fit a corset, this is part one about picking a corset. I’m briefly touching on several other topics I’m going to cover later such as body types, corset styles and fabrics. If you would like an individual consultation about sizing any type of clothing or shoes or selecting make up based on your skin, please feel free to contact me. Moving along..
How do I measure for a corset?
You need to measure your natural waist size in order to size a corset. You can measure your natural waist size one inch above your belly button.
Once measured, always choose a corset 2-4 inches smaller than your natural waist to achieve the ‘hourglass’ effect. The amount you “size down” is how tight the corset will close and depending on your shape and the shape of the corset you should size accordingly. Always read size guides.
Some fashion corsets may not come with traditional sizing, in which case I would refer to my previous sizing guide.
Where is my waist?
Your waist is the smallest part of your abdomen. Usually one inch above your belly button but it varies on some people. Take a fabric tape measure and pull it somewhat right around your waist, where does it gather to? (When measuring don’t cinch tightly, hold the tape loosely.) This also gives you information about your body shape. However, that is for a different post.
Can I use corsets designed for female bodies?
Yes! But they all fit differently. There is a simple over bust and under bust as far as length but there are also long line (for long torso which come in both under and over,) cinchers, waspies and corset belts. All in descending order of coverage.
You also want to pay attention to how much curve a corset has. Most “real” corsets have some kind of metal boning in them but fashion corsets which have the least support use plastic and are the most forgiving. A real corset will have corded laces or strings of some sort (like a shoe lace,) not generally ribbon or zippers as they will break easily with repeated lacing/zipping
Product: Cotton Tight lacing Corset from Mystic City Corsets
A tight lacing or hourglass corset is more on extreme end and is usually not for beginners but is incredible for creating a perfect curve. Tight lacing is the technique used to create a well defined hourglass figure.
Another thing to think about is the type of fabric used. Is it mesh, leather, satin, cotton, brocade? They all wear, sit, fit and stretch differently.
For example, a mesh corset will breath more which is better for wearing under clothes but it is less usable for tighter lacing (waist reduction) and will break down faster. Alternatively, you could wear it over your clothes for an alternative look.
A satin corset looks prettier on the outside (and would make a great sissy corset) but may get lots of runs in the fabric or stain easily depending on the color. Satin, cotton and brocade tend to be fairly default when it comes to corsets. PVC, leather and latex are more speciality fabrics.
Will wearing a corset change the shape of my body?
Over time repeated and consistent wear of a corset can change your shape but such pursuits should be undertaken with caution. If you only wear a corset occasionally, your body will return back to its original shape once you remove your corset. If you desire to change your waist size through corset training, it requires dedication
All around the world, women lament the chore of trying to divinate the size of their clothes.
When trying to figure out your size in women’s clothes as a Sissy, for feminization or crossdressing it gets a bit more complicated.
0 here, 12 there, 40 over there. It makes no sense. That’s just crossing countries. Try crossing brands. If I look into my jeans drawer I can find 26, 27, 28, 29, 2, 4, 6, xx small, small, medium and one size fits all. Who could possibly figure out how to order pants when you’re coming from a world of waist by length? I guess what I’m saying here is that no brand is standard in sizing when it comes to women’s clothing and the material and cut makes a huge difference in the fit. You never really know how something will fit until you have it on but usually size guides for sites will lend some help.
The trick comes in several parts.
Know your measurements
However you’re planning on dressing, you better take your bust, waist and hip. The bust is the biggest part of your chest, waist is the smallest, hip is the biggest part of your hips/butt.
For bonus points, measure your neck, around your thigh, your bicep, the width of your shoulders, the length of your arm and the length of your leg. Now you can get fitted for anything!
Read size charts
Seriously. If the site you’re ordering from doesn’t have one, try to google one for the brand. It will save you a lot of time.
The stretchier the fabric the more give it has and the more you can fudge measurements. So look at materials and Google that if you are unsure, same with reviews. Common stretchy fabric names are lycra, elastane and spandex.
Now you are all set to order some clothes! If you need some one on one consulting, feel free to contact me and I would be happy to help you.
Have you ever wanted to serve me?
Well today is your lucky chance.
Much like any busy person, I have an endless to do list that I never seem to get to the bottom of and an endless list of things that always need prepping, preparing or acquisition. In other words: Errands and chores.
I won’t keep things too long and arduous but I do like to keep things fun so consider this an invitation for an application. You may email my gmail account Rubyenraylls@gmail.com with your application and qualifications.
I will be shortly posting tasks here as well.
What is your submissive play style?
A while ago I retweeted an image on Twitter roughly about different types of subs. That image is somewhat inaccurate, I think but I retweeted it because I thought it was funny and I didn’t expect people to really ask me about it. Then I started thinking about different types of “subs” for a lack of a better term. I have often thought about the different driving forces behind what composes kink, BDSM, fetish, etc, however that is a post for a different day. So I began thinking about the motivations behind each different type of sub I have observed. There will be a follow up to this post because I think there are more sub classifications beyond just these.
So, why does it matter what type of sub/what your play style is? (I think your play style is actually more accurate.) It gives you more information about yourself and what you’re seeking out of your interactions with your Domme/Mistress/etc.
Also, keep in mind that people use titles with their own discretion so “slave” may mean something to one person but something completely different to another person. It’s always important to ask when negotiating. (For example in online Domme communities “slave” basically means “submissive man” whereas in lifestyle BDSM communities a “slave” refers to someone that is “owned property” and is usually a relationship title rather than something you just call someone.)
So these titles are in part borrowed from what I have observed and in part my own creation. Moving along.
A submissive is an umbrella term for someone with submissive desires who wants to be dominated. They have a whole range of interests in the BDSM or fetish realm. They may be casual or extremely serious and devoted to a Mistress. BDSM is a whole world of self expression for them. It’s a type of powerful play or sexual expression.
A slave is largely the same as a submissive with the exception that they tend to be more deeply involved lifestyle and tend to have one or more long term connections with Mistresses. Their real life outside play tends to be much more intertwined with kink and they are focused on “serving” in whatever form that takes for them. That’s not to say that a submissive can’t have domestic relationships that step outside the realm of the bedroom. However, I would say the level of commitment required for someone to make that sort of investment usually involves some sort of collar. Regardless of what title you assign to that relationship.
A bottom is someone who much like a submissive is also experiencing kink for the purposes of self expression, play or sexual expression but the focus isn’t power exchange. They may engage in very hard play that pushes some very hard limits that you would only see from people deeply involved in heavy D/s relationships. Bottoms are experience chasers, limit pushers and they want to see how everything feels and process the fuck out of it. The good and the bad.
A fetishist is someone who seeks the deep exploration of something particularly specific. They can be all over the map as far as the D/s scale and their involvement in the BDSM scene. Their focus is exploration of whatever their particular fetish is and hopefully you talked about it before and also hopefully it’s your thing too!
An explorer I would put neutrally on the D/s scale as they usually have no idea where they sit but it’s always fun to find out! Maybe they have no interest in D/s at all or maybe they really want to sit at your feet and suffer! An explorer is just that, an unknown.
A sensualist also doesn’t fall on the D/s scale but nothing makes them happier than putting a big smile on your face. Nothing makes Mistress happier than someone who wants to make her happy! The focus is typically not the harsh aspect of BDSM but sensation and sensuality.
I hope that helped shed some light on different types of submission for you!
Ever wondered how to clean out your ass with an enema? Here is a quick and easy visual guide!
Something like six months ago I was in a series couple of videos titled A Dominatrix Guesses Strangers Kinks and Guess My Kink Lineup by Cut. They were created by a Youtube studio called Cut that creates content that creates funny, entertaining, prankish and oddly bias challenging videos. When one of the reps contacted me to do the video, I felt comfortable working with them having had done a couple videos before but I had no idea what to expect this time around nor did I have any idea what would happen as a result of the videos being published.
“Guess My Kink” sounded like a game that I could win, so I was game. What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional impact it would have on me.
During the filming, we had time to connect with each other but the initial camera time I was very off kilter- I was in a room by myself and had no opportunity to connect with anyone. (Although I did make friends with several people after the fact.) It was unlike any time I had been on set because I had been completely alone prior and didn’t know anyone. I know that was part of the point but it was quite unnerving. Once I stepped on to the set, I had to instantly turn on into my normal mode but it wasn’t quite right.
I often play a game of a dominatrix guesses strangers kinks as a party trick or just as an every day part of my life but when you’re dealing with absolute strangers, under video lighting with cameras rolling it becomes a different game. What if I say something humiliating? What if I reveal too much about other people? What if I sound biased or rude? I became very self conscious and suddenly had no idea where I was standing with regard to other people. Then it hit me, this was the whole point of the creation of the video. Other than myself, everyone just looked like people you might find on the street and on any other given day so do I. People in the BDSM community are just like everyone else and unless you know someone pretty intimately their kinks might surprise you. I knew from watching other Cut videos that creating videos was designed to challenge the viewers but I didn’t realize that I was part of that venture. I consider myself fairly open minded but I suppose you can always be more open minded and considerate of others.
Anyway, I believe that our beliefs (both positive and negative) should be challenged. I hope that you too are given wonderful opportunities to open your mind and explore your biases and thoughts.
The Ultimate Guide to Drinking Urine
Welcome to the Ultimate Guide for Drinking Urine! Clearly I have piqued your curiosity, so here I am going to outline the risks associated with drinking urine and how to avoid them with an eye towards safely receiving your mistress’ gifts. It is very safe to drink your own urine but there are some minor safety concerns involved in drinking another person’s urine. In most healthy people urine is sterile and free of harmful bacteria, viruses, or other substances. Let’s dive in and talk about the details.
Why do people want to drink urine?
Drinking urine is a very primal thing. Often times it is tied to desires of being a human toilet. Assuming something that has passed through someone else’s body and been prepared especially for you makes you feel closer to them. Water is a substance that is central to life and you are getting it from your partner. At the same time it carries overtones of dominance, submission, and ownership. Urine is used to mark things as property. While we are not wild animals it is hard to escape the idea that something we have urinated on or in belongs to us. It is something very primal and deeply encoded. It also carries a mark of humiliation in that you are being treated as property. You become a toilet. It is a complex interplay of feelings and associations that can be quite strong.
Is it safe?
For the most part yes. In most normal healthy people urine is sterile and free of bacteria and viruses. While there may be some risk of STI transmission with direct genital contact, that is no different than any other consensual activity and appropriate precautions should be taken.
So if urine is mostly safe, what shouldn’t you do with it?
Don’t drink urine that has been sitting out (for any period of time longer than maybe an hour.) As I’ve mentioned, urine has bacteria and it will grow outside the body, the bacteria is how you get a UTI. It’s better fresh anyways.
Don’t drink urine that has been refrigerated for several days. Again, bacteria growth is an issue.
Take caution when drinking the urine of someone who is taking drug or prescriptions that are processed through the kidneys (if the urine is heavily diluted, it makes this less of an issue.) Whatever someone is taking will come out through their urine and although in trace/small amounts you will end up consuming. You should particularly take caution if you are taking any prescriptions that may interact.
Don’t drink urine if you are dehydrated or overheating, the minerals that are excreted in urine can exacerbate this and cause you to have some issues.
Don’t drink a very large quantity of urine at one time.
Although 95-90% sterile, the body filters what you put into it through the kidneys and puts out some waste into the urine. That being said, drinking urine is harmless if fresh and the producer is not on any substances that may be harmful to you. It has a small amount of bacteria/minerals (urea, potassium, sodium and creatinine) that can be harmful if consumed in very large quantities or if left for several days. If you stay well hydrated and don’t consume a large quantity of urine, you should be fine. I’d say for every glass of urine you drink, you should also drink a glass of water.
In closing, drinking urine is largely a safe activity especially compared to some of the risks that we can encounter as kinksters. Have fun and stay safe!
The Ultimate Human Toilet Guide;
Why, risks and surprising health benefits
This is the ultimate Q&A for toilet slaves looking for more knowledge and scat mistresses looking for safety tips (although you should *always* consult your doctor, I consulted one while writing this.)
What is a human toilet?
A human toilet is someone who gets sexual gratification or satisfaction from consuming the feces of another person. There are many psychological components to how this works but it is generally done in a BDSM context.
Many toilets start with drinking their partner’s urine but some also start or end up consuming their feces as well. Occasional a toilet starts out by consuming their own waste out of curiosity; some just start beneath the seat,jumping headfirst into the experience . It’s not uncommon for a toilet fetish to have some cross over with scat fetishistism. This consists of fantasizing about smearing feces on themselves or others. In my experience, it’s common place for toilets to enjoy watching someone go to the bathroom. Fantasizing about the act- Wishing in their hearts they could be underneath. For most toilets the true focus is on feces and not just urine. Being a true complete human toilet usually involves a commitment to the full experience, after all once you are a toilet you may have little choice in the matter. While some people are strongly opposed, which should be respected and discussed ahead of time, many toilets end up accepting both. Although I would say there is some crossover, I would add an additional qualifier to those people or put them in an alternate category altogether.
Why would someone be interested in being a toilet slave?
It is hard sometimes to pinpoint why a fetish is developed and held strongly. Oftentimes it is a combination of things. For some it’s a component of humiliation; being “forced” or degraded to the status of an object meant for waste. For others it’s an intimate act involving consumption of all things that come from their partner. The consumption makes them feel closer, like a form of worship and adoration for their partner. A gift from their partner, being willing to accept anything and take a part of them to nourish their body. In my experience speaking to toilets it is seen as an ultimate taboo to be with another human during the time that they are having a bowel movement. It is an intimate experience. It is seen as “very naughty” to watch someone have a bowel movement. Many were fascinated starting when they were young. Often times it seems like it’s one of those kinks that you were just born with not something that truly develops suddenly., At least that’s been my experience for what it’s worth. Not all toilets have the same desires. Some do not want to consume, some just enjoy watching and feeling as though they are a toilet to be used. Sometimes this means having waste in their mouth, sometimes it means just being under someone going to the bathroom. The point is being part of the intimate act of someone else using the bathroom and feeling as though they are beneath that person. Every toilet’s enjoyment is unique.
Is toilet slavery safe?
All BDSM activity has a risk, some activities have higher risks than others but only you can gauge whether an activity is too high risk for you.
Some risks associated with toilet slavery are bacterial, viral and parasitic infections as well as STI’s and aspiration.
In detail, what are the risks?
Instinctively you might say “getting sick” but what does that actually mean? From my research the biggest risk factors from eating feces relate to the person you are consuming from. This risk comes from bacteria living inside the person and from any disease they might have. Everyone has bacteria that can be either helpful or harmful, there is no negating that risk factor. The good news there is that since everyone’s gut bacteria is different, if you don’t get sick from eating someone’s feces once, it is highly unlikely that you will get sick from consuming that particular person’s feces in the future unless they are ill or acquire a disease.
Any diseases that are passed in feces are a concern. Urine is by and large sterile and not a concern in most cases. The most common serious disease to watch out for is hepatitis. Avoiding people who are unhealthy/currently sick and people who are in living in very unsanitary conditions is a must. It is also worthwhile to exercise caution with someone who has recently visited a country or place where they might have ingested something unsavory such as a tapeworm. If someone is currently sick they can pass that on to you and you can get sick. It is also important also keep in mind that anything they eat/consume will get passed on to you. This can include remnants of food and medications. Be very mindful of who you choose to participate in this activity with. If you have any specific health issues it is a good idea to discuss with your partner. The same goes with urine. (I’ll get your feel wet on the topic of the safety of drinking urine in a different article.)
Full list of Risk Factors:
In this case it is important to note that most people with a bacterial infection of consequence will appear sick. Symptoms usually include watery and profuse diarrhea occurring multiple times a day. This can be associated with nausea, vomiting, fevers,and abdominal pain. Often times the bowel movement appears “unhealthy” with either blood, mucus, or pus mixed in. Common bacteria of concern include: Cholera, C. difficile, Shigella, Salmonella, Vibro speciess, Pathogenic E coli, Campylobacter Jejuni. It is worth noting that some individuals can be carriers of Salmonella without symptoms. It is very uncommon for this to be the case in the US so the risk is very low. C. Difficile can also be carried without symptoms but is usually not an issue unless you have a weak immune system or have been recently on antibiotics.
Most of the viral infections also present with people appearing sick. Symptoms are often times indistinguishable from a bacterial infection aside from nausea and vomiting being more common. Occasionally someone with a viral hepatitis will have jaundice or very dark colored urine. Certain viruses are also associated with “common cold” symptoms. Common viral infections include Hepatitis A and E, Enteroviruses, Norovirus, rotovirus, and polio virus. Most people should have been vaccinated against Polio and Rotovirus. A vaccine for Hepatitis A is available and is reasonable to request from your doctor. If you are concerned you can get titers to prove you are immune through your doctor.
While parasitic infections do exist, they are incredibly uncommon in otherwise healthy adults in developed countries. While I will not delve into to many details, they include Entameba histolytica, giardia, cryptosporidium, toxoplasma gondii, tape worms, and ascaris. Typically risk factors for acquiring relate to eating and drinking unclean food and water, for example drinking unpurified water from a stream or in a country that might not clean their water as thoroughly. Symptoms can range from minor to more severe. Most parasites can be tested for in your doctor’s office.
It is also worth noting that as with any other food there is a risk of it going down the wrong pipe. Since feces contains a large quantity of bacteria there is potentially a slightly higher risk of pneumonia if this happens. Make sure you flush properly.
As with any intimate encounter their is a risk of exposure to bodily fluids (blood, semen, vaginal secretions). These can carry the commonly sexually transmitted infections. I advise most to discuss these issues with their partners before engaging in any consensual activity and the same applies here.
There are health benefits?
Now that we have talked about the risks involved, let’s talk about what you might not know- that ingesting fecal matter can have some health benefits as well if your partner is carefully selected.
There is an emerging field in medical science that is called the “microbiome”. This relates to the idea that the bacteria that reside in and on us help regulate any number of things in the body. In particular there is research that show certain types of bacteria can influence obesity, cancer, autoimmune disease, and overall health. This even includes things you might not expect such as depression. There are cases where a “transplant” of bacteria can cause fat mice to be skinny, it is worth noting that the bacteria came from fecal matter and is introduced to the new mice via an oral route. The reverse is also true. This has been seen in limited human studies as well. While in most cases there is no agreement yet amongst doctors and scientists as to how this information applies to humans, it suggests that consuming the feces of a healthy happy donor can benefit toilets in a way that keeps them healthy. It also potentially implies that the reverse is true: that an unhealthy partner can pass on some unhealthy traits. As with all activities you want to ensure both you and your partner are healthy. Interestingly enough for one condition, c. difficile, a fecal transplant (usually in the form of pills not direct consumption) can be effective when antibiotics have failed.
Hopefully I’ve presented you with some useful data if you are exploring toilet play and if you are grossed out by toilet play I hope to have humanized the people who are into it. I think all topics no matter how taboo are worth exploring at least once and you should always look into the risk factors before delving in head first, you might be surprised what you discover about yourself when you push yourself a little beyond your comfort zone.
You will have no idea what’s about to come over you, you won’t even be aware of what’s happening or the craving that’s growing inside of you. It will creep up slowly, first as a passing curiosity then as a slight craving building into a lust and finally a need. A need for cock. You will lose all control at my hands. The need to SUCK COCK will consume you like you will consume cocks, for me, your Mistress. You need to SUCK COCK. It calls to you, you need it in your mouth. You crave the taste, the smell, the texture, the sensation. You’re not aware of why or how, you’re just aware that you NEED it and you NEED it NOW. You thought you needed women but you were wrong, you need and DESERVE COCK. Isn’t that right?