Sexual Energy Exchange; Why I’m a Provider

Over the holidays last year I found myself feeling really weird and grumpy when I went for long periods without playing with anyone. After chatting with Victoria Rage she and I decided that play withdrawal is totally a thing that happens for both of us. I’m thinking that I likely feel bad after going a while without playing (in the hobby and out of it) because it is a source of positive energy for me and it gives me a positive outlet for any negative feelings I might be having. Since discovering this I’ve made a conscious effort to pour any negativity into my play and I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten significantly more happiness out of my play and I’ve felt an increase in my overall well being and ability to connect with people. Almost without fail, I feel happier and more energized after I play with someone and there is some level of sexual connection. Before I found the hobby, I felt really unstable, prone to depression and honestly really frustrated with myself and others. It felt like I was missing something so I ended up having sex with a bunch of random people, doing porn and engaging in all sorts of self destructive sexually charged behavior that ultimately lead me to exploring the hobby. Initially, I thought of the hobby as something dark, disgusting, shameful and like the bottom of the barrel; Only desperate people with no self respect engage in such activities, right? Well, I was at …

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