how to be a dominatrix

A Dominatrix Guesses Who’s a Virgin

It’s been a while since I did a Cut video! They were nice enough to invite me back to guess who is a virgin. I wanted to make a point of guessing who I thought was going to be the “obvious” choice with the intent of highlighting how cultural biases are often incorrect. I hope you enjoy the video as much as I did when filming it!

10 Essential BDSM Toys for Beginners

Everyone has to start somewhere, this is a BDSM toy guide for anyone starting a collection. I wanted to share my favorite BDSM toys and gear I think is essential for any kit in an easy format. Whether you are a domestic dominatrix in training, a couple looking to spice things up or a loyal sub with dreams of having the perfect toy kit, this list is for you. Strap on harness Every dominatrix needs a good harness that fits well, is comfortable and gets the job done right. For the beginning dominatrix you might think “I will get a kit” but that is a mistake. Strap on kits usually come with a nylon strap harness and dildos that are so-so (usually too big or too small.) It may take a while to figure out what you like best but my favorite is The Jag by Aslan Leathers I like thong harnesses that can be converted and the leather is treated so it’s easy to clean and doesn’t break down over time. Dildos It will take a while for anyone who is a beginner dominatrix to figure out what kind of dildos they like but I recommend materials that are body safe over jelly toys or PVC. I think it’s important to make sure it’s easy to clean/cover as well. Tantus has a great selection of toys to choose from that come in a variety of colors and sizes. Restraints  Restraints are very personal in their appeal. Maybe you’re a …

10 Essential BDSM Toys for Beginners Read More »

Sexual Energy Exchange; Why I’m a Provider

Over the holidays last year I found myself feeling really weird and grumpy when I went for long periods without playing with anyone. After chatting with Victoria Rage she and I decided that play withdrawal is totally a thing that happens for both of us. I’m thinking that I likely feel bad after going a while without playing (in the hobby and out of it) because it is a source of positive energy for me and it gives me a positive outlet for any negative feelings I might be having. Since discovering this I’ve made a conscious effort to pour any negativity into my play and I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten significantly more happiness out of my play and I’ve felt an increase in my overall well being and ability to connect with people. Almost without fail, I feel happier and more energized after I play with someone and there is some level of sexual connection. Before I found the hobby, I felt really unstable, prone to depression and honestly really frustrated with myself and others. It felt like I was missing something so I ended up having sex with a bunch of random people, doing porn and engaging in all sorts of self destructive sexually charged behavior that ultimately lead me to exploring the hobby. Initially, I thought of the hobby as something dark, disgusting, shameful and like the bottom of the barrel; Only desperate people with no self respect engage in such activities, right? Well, I was at …

Sexual Energy Exchange; Why I’m a Provider Read More »