Seattle Mistress

Things pertaining to life as a Seattle mistress

The Ultimate Femdom Gift Giving Guide

What is the ultimate slave task? Understanding your Mistress. Think of your research into her/their preferences as slave training. Are you trying to impress your Mistress? Make her happy? GOOD. That is exactly what you should be doing as her loyal servant. A birthday shouldn’t pass without you celebrating with your Mistress. 

I’m turning 30 in the middle of April so I decided to create an easy guide for my loyal subs to find me a gift that we both will enjoy.

As with all gift giving, you should ask yourself “is this for them or is it for me?” The latter is fine but you should acknowledge that you are giving them a gift for you rather than investigating what they might want. If you want to knock it out of the ballpark, your best methods for success are research and paying attention. I think that successful gifting is based on how well you know someone’s love language which relates to their gift preferences.

  1. Service

Does your dominant talk about wanting to be able to do something or have something done but they don’t have the bandwidth, time or energy to do it themselves? Easy. If you can make it happen for them, do so. Ask questions if you aren’t sure of something. A great example of this is The Garden Path that one of my subs commissioned for me on my birthday a few years ago. I enjoy it immensely and it was one of the best gifts I’ve gotten.

  1. Something Useful

Everyone loves having that magic thing that fills a hole in their life or solves a problem, maybe one they didn’t know they had. In order to achieve this, you must know them well. A great example from my life is receiving a very nice set of knives when I started cooking. I didn’t know how amazing good knives are compared to the crappy ones I was using.

  1. Something Practical

Finding something practical that someone needs or wants is a pretty easy gifting opportunity and they will think of you whenever they use it. I have gotten tennis shoes, a sofa, clothes, kitchen items, things for my cats, gift cards that enabled me to complete a project or simply enjoy something. 

  1. Luxury Items

I feel that anything outside of the realm of what someone will normally spend on themselves is a luxury gift.Or an upgrade to something they already have. You usually have to ask or do research but it can be immensely exciting to get a gift that you wouldn’t buy for yourself. I’ve received jewelry, shoes, lingerie, dungeon furniture and a NAS set up to backup all my media.

  1. An Experience 

Do they talk about wanting to go somewhere or do something? Perfect! Whether it’s a trip to the spa or a trip to the beach, experiences are precious and the memory doesn’t fade. I’ve been taken on trips, taken to events, done crazy things and had my spa trips paid for. Big or small, I’ve loved every experience.

Image (c) Forbes

Obey the Power of Pussy (Hypnosis)

Purchase HYou are weak when it comes to women, aren’t you? You drool and lose your mind at the sight of panties or at the hint of the smell of a pussy? Imagine how much you’d lose your mind if I put my pussy in your face and told you that you weren’t allowed to touch, lick, taste, smell or adore it? Only look. You would go mad. You would become weak and then I would exploit your vulnerable mind.ere: 

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Lovespell Manipulation

Your addiction to me just keeps growing and growing, I know how to feed it. You make yourself look away, even if you wanted to. I know how badly you want me to take you deeper under my spell. Let my shiny lips tease you with every word that flows from them. My beautiful breasts mesmerize you and make you make you weak until you have no self control left.

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4 Problems Submissives Face and How to Cope

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I’m Afraid of Rejection

Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5.

So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/

My Partner Isn’t Interested

The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout.

I Can’t Say What I Want

Communication in all contexts is critical. Especially when it comes to play. At a certain point, you just have to bite the bullet and try to have a discussion Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Playing Went Wrong

I’m Afraid of Rejection

Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5.

So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/

My Partner Isn’t Interested

The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout.

I Can’t Say What I Want

Communication in all contexts is critical. Especially when it comes to play. At a certain point, you just have to bite the bullet and try to have a discussion Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Playing Went Wrong

Preach to the choir, we have all had something go wrong at some point. That is how you learn and the beauty of doing it with someone who is compassionate s that you ideally should be able to learn together. At least, that has largely been my experience. Sometimes it takes some time to find the right way to phrase things, communicate your needs or even find the right people but if you’re patient and diligent, you will find what you’re looking for.

Clip: Slut School Sissy Training

Welcome to Slut School, Have you ever thought about dick? I’m going to teach you allll about it. You’re eager to learn aren’t you? I’m sure you’ll make a good student once my big dick is inside you. Have you ever put anything inside you? I’m sure you’ve thought about it. After I’m done with you, you’re going to be a pro!

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More than a Fantasy

The world of day dreams and fantasy is one that I have often found so captivating. In this realm, reality does not apply but that is also the draw back. I’ve caught my mind wandering to stranger and stranger places, ones that are familiar to me if I’m truly honest but that I hesitate to speak about to others. That is the power and captivation of the fantasy dreamland- I need not worry what others think. Sometimes I dare to wonder, do others have the same proclivities? If I wish hard enough, I can imagine a partner who is a perfect mirror to my perversions. Indulgent, wicked, precise. Without much appearance of effort, she has me in her clutches. Here is where I find myself, browsing the internet nestled in the privacy of my self indulgence. The world out there is vast, expanding further than my crude searches can encapsulate. Still, I fumble my way through erotic, tantalizing and quite graphic content until seemingly by fate.. I find her. Again, I dare to wonder. Could my desires be more than just a fantasy? With a click on a button, they are all but a fantasy.

First Time Anxiety

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You have some desires that keep persisting. You’ve tried to escape them, push them down, ignore them, forget that they’re there. Why is that? You’ve often asked yourself this. You’re afraid that others won’t accept you as you are. For that reason and many others, it just makes sense to keep your fantasies to yourself. That’s just not enough anymore though. You’re craving something more and most of all, you want to express your desires and be seen.

The first time you message her, you feel your pulse quicken. You’re so nervous. You’ve talked yourself out of contacting her so many times but for some reason right now you feel emboldened. You’ve pressed send and it’s out of your hands now. You’ve taken the first step to giving up control and you don’t know how you feel about it. Some part of it feels like a relief and another part of you is panicking.

Faster than you expected you have a reply. You don’t want to fuck this up, it took you so long to write your first message. For some reason her reply puts you at ease and makes the whole situation feel more normal. By association, you feel more normal. This was easier than you expected. All you have to do now is follow instructions and wait. The waiting is always the hardest part.

You’ve been on the edge of your seat but you’ve crossed all your I’s and dotted your T’s. You’re so anxious that it’s all you can think about. You think about bailing but you’ve come this far, so you couldn’t possibly. You’re drawn through the day as if you’re in a hazy daydream until you find yourself face to face with her. Suddenly, crashing back to reality in a bundle of nerves.

You find yourself lured in by the casual conversation, slowly leading you down a darker pathway. You find yourself at ease, comfortable and feeling unconcerned with how your interests may make you appear. You find yourself drawn in and compelled to confess. How did that happen? Hm.. You simply fall under her spell deeper. Settling into this world of nonjudgement.

Femdom Erotica – Traveler gets Locked in Chastity

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It’s been a long week already but you’ve had your email to distract you. Normally you hate the airport, the waiting, the delays and all the people. This time it just gives you time to build up tension. Her emails, texts and photos have kept you on edge the entire time and you can’t wait to see what awaits you on the other end of your flight. She reads you like a book but your Mistress is so mysterious to you. That always works to her advantage. This time she says she has a surprise for you, given what she knows about you… You can only imagine what it could be. Oh well, time to board and shut down.

You’re on your toes the entire flight, you can’t manage to get a lick of work done. Ugh. Hopefully you’ll have your wits about you later.

You land and you get one text that says simply “Surprise is at the hotel. Meet at the usual spot.” A shiver runs down your spine and your cheeks burn. Holy shit, what did she send to the hotel? Fuck. Your mind is racing and the obnoxious hum of the Uber driver’s too loud-not your taste music fades away into the background. You are too fixated on what awaits you at the hotel and then later, in her clutches.

The lobby seems entirely too bright when you walk in and you float over to the check in desk. “Hi, um..” you stammer. “I’d like to check in. I believe you have something for me too..?” The woman behind the desk smiles brightly and acknowledges you, taps her keyboard then hands you two key cards and a shipped box. “Can I help you with anything else?” she queries but you are completely lost to the world.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. She sent it. She actually sent it. You feel your excitement starting to build. You suddenly snap back to reality and the check in desk girl is staring at you. “Uh, sorry.” You blurt out. “Long flight.” She shrugs and repeats her question. You decline, thank her and excuse yourself quickly. Being careful to hold your personal items in such a way to not disclose your excitement to any casual passers by.

Up in your hotel room you are brimming with anticipation, staring at your box. Yet you don’t dare open it without permission from your Mistress. You fired off a text as soon as you were in the elevator but it feels like every second is taking an eternity. Finally, a reply. “Yes, open it. You’ll know what I want you to do with it.” The text is almost too much for you but you steady yourself and tear into the box.

Of course. Packed neatly inside the discreet box is your very own chastity device. You gulp, you were on edge before you got on the plane and now you know you’ll be in for more torment. You get so compliant and obedient when you’re locked. She knows just how to push your buttons, you can’t help but comply. The device is snug but it fits just right, you can’t help but obey and put it on. With a click, it locks securely. For a moment, you feel panic and decide to back out. Unfortunately, there’s no key in the box. Fuck. Your phone lights up… It’s a text. “Freaking out yet? You’ll have to earn that key back… This is going to be a fun trip!”

You feel yourself strain against the cage. Oh. Fuck…

Sizing Women’s Clothes for Sissies, Feminization & Crossdressing

womens clothing sissy size guide

All around the world, women lament the chore of trying to divinate the size of their clothes.

When trying to figure out your size in women’s clothes as a Sissy, for feminization or crossdressing it gets a bit more complicated.

0 here, 12 there, 40 over there. It makes no sense. That’s just crossing countries. Try crossing brands. If I look into my jeans drawer I can find 26, 27, 28, 29, 2, 4, 6, xx small, small, medium and one size fits all. Who could possibly figure out how to order pants when you’re coming from a world of waist by length? I guess what I’m saying here is that no brand is standard in sizing when it comes to women’s clothing and the material and cut makes a huge difference in the fit. You never really know how something will fit until you have it on but usually size guides for sites will lend some help.

The trick comes in several parts.

This is an important tool you’ll need, however.

Know your measurements
However you’re planning on dressing, you better take your bust, waist and hip. The bust is the biggest part of your chest, waist is the smallest, hip is the biggest part of your hips/butt.

For bonus points, measure your neck, around your thigh, your bicep, the width of your shoulders, the length of your arm and the length of your leg. Now you can get fitted for anything!

Read size charts
Seriously. If the site you’re ordering from doesn’t have one, try to google one for the brand. It will save you a lot of time.

Understand fabrics
The stretchier the fabric the more give it has and the more you can fudge measurements. So look at materials and Google that if you are unsure, same with reviews. Common stretchy fabric names are lycra, elastane and spandex.

Now you are all set to order some clothes! If you need some one on one consulting, feel free to contact me and I would be happy to help you.

Service Opportunities

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Have you ever wanted to serve me?
Well today is your lucky chance.

Much like any busy person, I have an endless to do list that I never seem to get to the bottom of and an endless list of things that always need prepping, preparing or acquisition. In other words: Errands and chores.

I won’t keep things too long and arduous but I do like to keep things fun so consider this an invitation for an application. You may email my gmail account Rubyenraylls@gmail.com with your application and qualifications.

I will be shortly posting tasks here as well.