Dominatrix Blog

The Ultimate Femdom Gift Giving Guide

What is the ultimate slave task? Understanding your Mistress. Think of your research into her/their preferences as slave training. Are you trying to impress your Mistress? Make her happy? GOOD. That is exactly what you should be doing as her loyal servant. A birthday shouldn’t pass without you celebrating with your Mistress.  I’m turning 30 in the middle of April so I decided to create an easy guide for my loyal subs to find me a gift that we both will enjoy. As with all gift giving, you should ask yourself “is this for them or is it for me?” The latter is fine but you should acknowledge that you are giving them a gift for you rather than investigating what they might want. If you want to knock it out of the ballpark, your best methods for success are research and paying attention. I think that successful gifting is based on how well you know someone’s love language which relates to their gift preferences. Service Does your dominant talk about wanting to be able to do something or have something done but they don’t have the bandwidth, time or energy to do it themselves? Easy. If you can make it happen for them, do so. Ask questions if you aren’t sure of something. A great example of this is The Garden Path that one of my subs commissioned for me on my birthday a few years ago. I enjoy it immensely and it was one of the best gifts I’ve …

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4 Problems Submissives Face and How to Cope

I’m Afraid of Rejection Everyone has been afraid of rejection at one point or another, it can feel even worse when you are looking for a kinky partner. You might feel weird or abnormal but you aren’t. Pre 50 Shades of Grey, 36% of Americans were into some form of BDSM. Considering the huge jump of inquiries I have gotten after the release of every 50 Shades movie and how many people use it as short hand, I imagine that number is higher now. For scope, ever so slightly more than 1 in every 3 people were kinky in 2005. Worldwide it was 1 in 5. So if you’re weird, so is a large portion of the population. We just aren’t talking about it. Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/americans-are-more-bdsm-rest-world-180949703/ My Partner Isn’t Interested The most difficult thing I personally think is finding someone whose interests match yours. This has nothing to do with anything being wrong with you or your partner, it just means you like different things. The real issue is that many people find it so difficult to talk about that it stews. You wouldn’t have a major issue over your partner not liking the same food or movies as you though, you would find a compromise. For some this means exploring together and service play (service topping) and for others it can mean opening up relationships. In both cases, it’s important to have clear negotiation and an open dialogue throughout. I Can’t Say What I Want Communication in all contexts …

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More than a Fantasy

The world of day dreams and fantasy is one that I have often found so captivating. In this realm, reality does not apply but that is also the draw back. I’ve caught my mind wandering to stranger and stranger places, ones that are familiar to me if I’m truly honest but that I hesitate to speak about to others. That is the power and captivation of the fantasy dreamland- I need not worry what others think. Sometimes I dare to wonder, do others have the same proclivities? If I wish hard enough, I can imagine a partner who is a perfect mirror to my perversions. Indulgent, wicked, precise. Without much appearance of effort, she has me in her clutches. Here is where I find myself, browsing the internet nestled in the privacy of my self indulgence. The world out there is vast, expanding further than my crude searches can encapsulate. Still, I fumble my way through erotic, tantalizing and quite graphic content until seemingly by fate.. I find her. Again, I dare to wonder. Could my desires be more than just a fantasy? With a click on a button, they are all but a fantasy.

First Time Anxiety

You have some desires that keep persisting. You’ve tried to escape them, push them down, ignore them, forget that they’re there. Why is that? You’ve often asked yourself this. You’re afraid that others won’t accept you as you are. For that reason and many others, it just makes sense to keep your fantasies to yourself. That’s just not enough anymore though. You’re craving something more and most of all, you want to express your desires and be seen. The first time you message her, you feel your pulse quicken. You’re so nervous. You’ve talked yourself out of contacting her so many times but for some reason right now you feel emboldened. You’ve pressed send and it’s out of your hands now. You’ve taken the first step to giving up control and you don’t know how you feel about it. Some part of it feels like a relief and another part of you is panicking. Faster than you expected you have a reply. You don’t want to fuck this up, it took you so long to write your first message. For some reason her reply puts you at ease and makes the whole situation feel more normal. By association, you feel more normal. This was easier than you expected. All you have to do now is follow instructions and wait. The waiting is always the hardest part. You’ve been on the edge of your seat but you’ve crossed all your I’s and dotted your T’s. You’re so anxious that it’s all …

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Femdom Erotica – Traveler gets Locked in Chastity

It’s been a long week already but you’ve had your email to distract you. Normally you hate the airport, the waiting, the delays and all the people. This time it just gives you time to build up tension. Her emails, texts and photos have kept you on edge the entire time and you can’t wait to see what awaits you on the other end of your flight. She reads you like a book but your Mistress is so mysterious to you. That always works to her advantage. This time she says she has a surprise for you, given what she knows about you… You can only imagine what it could be. Oh well, time to board and shut down. You’re on your toes the entire flight, you can’t manage to get a lick of work done. Ugh. Hopefully you’ll have your wits about you later. You land and you get one text that says simply “Surprise is at the hotel. Meet at the usual spot.” A shiver runs down your spine and your cheeks burn. Holy shit, what did she send to the hotel? Fuck. Your mind is racing and the obnoxious hum of the Uber driver’s too loud-not your taste music fades away into the background. You are too fixated on what awaits you at the hotel and then later, in her clutches. The lobby seems entirely too bright when you walk in and you float over to the check in desk. “Hi, um..” you stammer. “I’d like to …

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Photo Casting Call

Good Afternoon perverts, I have a lovely opportunity for those of you who enjoy showing off your inner exhibitionist: I am doing an official casting call for an artistic and ongoing photo project that I’m collaborating on with several photographer friends of mine.Let me be perfectly and crystal clear: This is not a call for models in clips, pornography, video, etc. I may in the future do a casting call for that but this an artistic project featuring BDSM, fetish and event erotic elements that I find interesting and alluring but focuses heavily on the artistic element.I have been inspired by many creative artists online such as Mistress Eva, Mistress Troy and Cybill Troy. At first glance you may just look at the imagery they have created and say “that’s just porn” or “that’s an advertisement.” However, to me my website is a space where I can create artistic vision and attract like minded people; My website is a place to house my creative voice. I have several different visions in mind for this particular casting call. Iconic Scenes from Movies, with a kinkier twist Have you ever been watching a movie and found yourself completely enraptured with the pacing, the imagery, the characters yet you wished it had gone slightly further in a kinky a direction? Maybe you wished the roles were reversed? I’m aiming to recreate scenes like that from movies that are easily recognizable, that stick in your mind. I already have several in mind but I’m …

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Fetish Model Ruby Enraylls

How to Size a Chastity Cage

There are so many different types of chastity cages to choose from, making a selection sometimes seems impossible. There are many different styles, materials, shapes, you name it! Which one is right for you? Hopefully I can shed some light on how to purchase a chastity device that will work for you by illuminating some critical consideration points. Before we start with sizing we need to consider how you’ll use this device. Are you going to be locked up for an hour while you go out and get groceries for your Mistress? Is it a night of chastity for you, lucky boy? Perhaps something more long term like a week of being locked in your cage. Maybe something more intense still like a long term chastity contract that spans weeks, months or if you’re really lucky, years. Each duration has different considerations to make with the fit, sizing, materials and even locking devices. Let’s start out with the basics How to Size a Chastity Cage How to Measure for a Chastity Device Where do you need to measure for fitting a chastity device? The circumference of the shaft of the penis The length of the penis The circumference of the entire genital (below the base of the penis and the testicles) You must take these measurements while your penis is soft then repeat them when it is erect to get adequate sizing. The sizing for most chastity cages or devices tends to come in MM so convert your measurements into …

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Sizing Corsets for Sissies, Feminization, and Crossdressing

Corset training can be an excellent part of any feminization routine or a wonderful set of sissy tasks. If you want to make your body more feminine, it’s a great way to do it without any big changes, so it’s a great option for a man, sissy or casual player to explore. They can range from cheap to very pricey depending on your needs, budget and how fancy you want to be. That being said, you can often get what you need for your closet without breaking the bank. I’m going to answer some basic questions that you may have about how to fit a corset, this is part one about picking a corset. I’m briefly touching on several other topics I’m going to cover later such as body types, corset styles and fabrics. If you would like an individual consultation about sizing any type of clothing or shoes or selecting make up based on your skin, please feel free to contact me. Moving along.. How do I measure for a corset? You need to measure your natural waist size in order to size a corset. You can measure your natural waist size one inch above your belly button. Once measured, always choose a corset 2-4 inches smaller than your natural waist to achieve the ‘hourglass’ effect. The amount you “size down” is how tight the corset will close and depending on your shape and the shape of the corset you should size accordingly. Always read size guides. Some fashion …

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Sizing Women’s Clothes for Sissies, Feminization & Crossdressing

All around the world, women lament the chore of trying to divinate the size of their clothes. When trying to figure out your size in women’s clothes as a Sissy, for feminization or crossdressing it gets a bit more complicated. 0 here, 12 there, 40 over there. It makes no sense. That’s just crossing countries. Try crossing brands. If I look into my jeans drawer I can find 26, 27, 28, 29, 2, 4, 6, xx small, small, medium and one size fits all. Who could possibly figure out how to order pants when you’re coming from a world of waist by length? I guess what I’m saying here is that no brand is standard in sizing when it comes to women’s clothing and the material and cut makes a huge difference in the fit. You never really know how something will fit until you have it on but usually size guides for sites will lend some help. The trick comes in several parts. This is an important tool you’ll need, however. Know your measurementsHowever you’re planning on dressing, you better take your bust, waist and hip. The bust is the biggest part of your chest, waist is the smallest, hip is the biggest part of your hips/butt. For bonus points, measure your neck, around your thigh, your bicep, the width of your shoulders, the length of your arm and the length of your leg. Now you can get fitted for anything! Read size chartsSeriously. If the site you’re ordering …

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