Kink, BDSM & Fetish Topics

Every wondered about my opinion on something kink related?

Eat Your Cum or Pay Up

Awww… back for more abuse? I thought you would be.
You can’t stay away can you?
I’ll have you begging soon enough.
What do I have in store? That’s for me to know and you to find out, worm.
Have you been a good boy? Are you deserving of a reward?
You’re never deserving of a reward, are you?
I am going to make you eat your cum for me.
Your orgasams are mine and you’re never allowed to cum without permission, are you?
If you have cum without permission, turn off this video and jjust walk away, with your hard-on in your hand.
Start stroking your pathetic little cock for me.
Think about all the things you wish I would do to you but never will.
Thinks you will never be worthy of.
Think about this ass and how desperately you want to bury your face in it.
Keep stroking.
But no cumming until I tell you to.
If you come before I tell you to, you have to send me a $100 gift card.
Think about how you want to worship this ass.
But it will never be for you.
Are you getting close? Well stop, then!
I want you begging and pleading.
Squeeze your balls to remind you that they belong to me.
I want you to last as long as possible, but I’m going to tease you to make it difficult.
I don’t think you’ll ever be worthy enough to be close to this body.
Did it make your life hard to be teased like that? Nice and hard?
Think about how I get fucked regularly and how you’ll never be worthy of that.
Think about how we’d laugh at you because you’re just a pathetic excuse for a man, aren’t you?
Jerk your little baby dick for me.

Your Tiny Cock Will be Your Down Fall


Hello, fucking losers.
I bet you think that you’re good enough to fuck me.
Just because you have a dick doesn’t mean you are good enough for anything.
You are under my control.
Not just because you bought this video – you always have, haven’t you?
You’ve always been under the control of women.
You’re a fucking slave and you know it.
We’re all laughing at you and your tiny little dick.
You should just admit you have no control over your desires.
All you ever do is ruin the lives of those around you.
You better not tell me how much you want to fuck me.
You disgust me.
You make me throw up, every single time I have to think about you.
But I love humiliating you because that pleases me.
I love helping you know how gross and little you are; how little you mean to me.
Your dick is microscopic.
We’re going to lock up your dick, because it’s useless.
You’ll never be good enough for me.
You might be good enough to kiss my feet, but that’s it. Or suck cocks for me.
You are vile and disgusting. You make me sick.
What ever made you think you’d be worthy of an attractive woman’s attention?
In what world would I be with you?
It doesn’t make sense.
Run along, go suck a cock for me and earn some money. You know, make yourself useful.

Wrestling Clip: Scissorlock!


You like getting pushed around by strong girls, don’t you? You’re such a little weakling. Are you getting hard from being bullied by a girl? What’s that about? Mmm… My luscious legs are so strong wrapped around you, squeezing you. You can’t resist them and you can’t escape them. They are so strong, aren’t they? Pant for me, gasp for me. I want to watch you struggle. Struggle like you mean it!

When you’re trapped in my reverse scissors all you can see is my bubbly ass, huh? What a tragedy. No escape and you’re getting so hard from it. I’m just going to sit here and relax while I slowly crush you. I bet you fantasized about this in school, being bullied by hot girls! Ugh. At least try to fight me, even though we both know you won’t win.

You didn’t even stand a chance, did you?

Buy Now

Wishlist for the Holidays

It’s that time of year again lovey boys and girls, the holidays! Here is a pile of things that I would like and that my dungeon might like! Organized by price for your convenience.

I do not expect gifts but some folks are extremely kind and that is always greatly appreciated! For those who bring me a gift this December you can expect the following:
$50 and Under:
$50 to $150 : An Additional Half Hour added to your next session
$150 to $250: An Additional Hour added to your next session
$250 to $450: An Additional Hour and a Half added to your next session
$450 to $550: An Additional Two Hours added to your next session
$550 to $750: An Additional Three Hours added to your next session
$1000 and Up: An Additional 6 Hours to 48 Hours added to your next session

Toys & Gear for my Dungeon

Rattan Cane 5 Pack, 26 inch – $14.99
Rattan Cane 5 Pack, 28 inch – $16.99
Rattan Cane 5 Pack, 32 inch – $19.99
Medium Deluxe Ball Gag in Black – $54.95
Small Deluxe Ball Gag in Black – $54.95
Large Deluxe Ball Gag in Black – $59.95
Ribbed Silicone Sound – $69.95
Silicone Sound Size C – $69.95
Silicone Sound Size D – $69.95
Black Acrylic Cane 6 Piece Set – $78.99
Inflatable Butterfly Gag with Strap – $79.95
Black Delrin Cane 8 Piece Set – $99.99
Short, Solid Steel Suspension Bar – $149.95
Long, Solid Steel Suspension Bar – $159.95
Giant Ribbed Silicone Sound – $169.95
Secretary Yoke M/L, post and buckle, black tubes, metal wrapped black leather – $225
Venus 2000 “Domme Pack” of receivers x5 and liners x5 – $250
Fetters Black Locking Cuff Set – $279.90
A Selection of Containers from the Container store for organizing the dungeon – $300
Deluxe Versafuck Supercharged Fucking Machine – $557
Trident Wood Cross Finished in Black with Black Metal – $580
Eros Tek ET312B Package – $699
Defibrillator: Philips on Site – $1231

Clothing & Personal Items

Anything from my Sephora Wishlist
T3 1.75 Inch Hot Rollers X4 – $40
T3 1.5 Inch Hot Rollers X4 – $40
Winter Fetish PVC catsuit with bust cups in Black, size Medium tall – $180
GHD Classic 1 inch hair styler – $185
Whitney Brief, Black Size 4 – $190
Whitney Bra, Black Size 4 – $220
Robyn Ouvert, Black Size 4 – $220
Robyn Bra, Black Size 36DD – $220
Tria Hair Removal Laser in Pink – $449
Lady Peep, Black Size 40.5 – $945

Labors of Love

Labor (digging up dirt, laying sand, installing pavers) to have a brick pathway installed at my dungeon entrance – Likely at least a week of work
Drywall and framing to finish up a few more areas of my dungeon’s new back room – Likely a couple of days of work

Proper Protocol with Your BDSM Mistress

Introduction to Communicating with my BDSM Mistress

A BDSM slave’s thoughts on proper protocol

Mistress Ruby gave me the assignment to write to Her some about how to address your BDSM Mistress properly, make requests, share fantasies, and have respectful conversation. Also, i am to include a breakdown of dos’ and don’ts for each topic. She instructed me to have no limit on length, deliver it to Her by the end of the week, and to write it from my standpoint.
A few initial thoughts about the assignment immediately ran through my head. First was gratitude, since this is the first writing assignment my Mistress has given me in a long while. Because i strive to be the perfect submissive, and as my Mistress brought me into the BDSM lifestyle from 30 years of monogamous vanilla hetero relationships, during the first months we were together i processed nearly every encounter we had by writing essays which i shared with Her. Mostly, these were written as if i were writing a letter to her, but in reality they were attempts to hear myself say the things i wanted to say so that i could sort my fantasies from my realities. Frankly, i wouldn’t be surprised if that was somewhat off-putting for Her, but She was very patient with me and when She had comments they came as constructive criticism, encouragement, and appreciation that i took our relationship seriously enough to write my thoughts down.
Second, and i will address this more completely below, i immediately sent back to Her both confirmation that i understood the request as well as a request to get more information about Her expected length, perspective, and due date. While i tend to over communicate, i think my Mistress understands my desire to meet Her expectations and that i often need some specific information to do so.
Finally, i get a great deal of pleasure from my Mistress giving me specific instruction, be it in Her dungeon, around the house, or with other types of requests She makes of me. Within our D/s relationship, admittedly the physical and psychological facets of BDSM were compelling at first, but i have found that pleasing my Mistress in any way possible brings me the greatest joy. It is my mission to try to make Her life not just more comfortable but more fulfilling every day. She is my Goddess and She makes me want to be a better human, seeking self-actualization every moment of my life as a goal.
With that introduction, i MUST now actually get to the assignment!
● blue ●

Addressing my Mistress Properly

As my Mistress’ submissive male i have learned the value of communication, both oral and written. In all of my direct interactions with Her i always use the honorific of “Miss” or “Mistress” when addressing Her directly. By doing so i intend to indicate to not only my respect for Her, but also my submission and deference to Her above all others. When speaking with Her i attempt to not interrupt other activities She may be doing and then wait for acknowledgement to go forward with whatever i need to say. Moreover i take the responsibility of being understood by Her to ensure my comments are not miscommunicated.
You will notice that i capitalize all feminine pronouns referring to my Mistress, as well as using lowercase when referring to myself in writing. This is not a requirement of me by my Mistress, but instead is one of many overt indications of my submissiveness that i adopted early on in my writings to Her.
But i have it easy because my BDSM Mistress is very special in that She makes all of Her expectations of me very clear. Miss Ruby Enraylls is a well-respected Pro-Domme with a broad public and professional presence in the Seattle Kink, BDSM, and professional sex work communities. As part of Her professional self, She maintains marketing ads on several adult services websites. Before ever communicating with Her, i read EVERYTHING i could find. Upon reading Her ads, they funneled me to Her website, www.rubylovesyou.com, which i read completely (many times in fact) before ever communicating with Her. On Her site She clearly explains in complete detail all aspects of Her professional practice including introductory information, specifics about the services She offers, some personal details, photos and links to videos, a calendar of Her availability, and contact information for booking appointments. What really helped me was Her FAQ and Her “Sessions” page, where She details how to schedule an appointment, what to expect from Her, Do’s and Don’ts, Dungeon Rules, and a note about “When We Meet.”
Having read through Her site several times before actually reaching out to Her, one small sentence jumped out at me from the “What you can expect from me” section of the aforementioned “Sessions” page:
To me respect means that when you address me you call me as “Miss”, “Miss Ruby”, or “Mistress” … and that you’ll respect my limits and not attempt to push our relationship further than i define it.
All of Her writing on Her site is informative and from Her heart, but this simple phrase spoke to my core about how to respect Her as a person, not “just” a service provider or a Mistress. As a submissive male to my core who had never acknowledged my need for female domination in my intimate relationships, this statement made clear to me how to fully respect this amazing woman. While this prescriptive address for a Dominatrix is socially normative even in vanilla culture outside of the Kink/BDSM lifestyle, Her not having taken this detail for granted spoke volumes to me about Her desire to communicate with Her clientele, not simply act out a role. Miss Ruby, while providing “scenes” negotiated with Her clients based upon their fantasies and discussed before each session, does not participate in such scenes within a context of an actress fulfilling a role. Instead, She provides Her clients the very real experience of Her deep sensual Dominant self to fulfill their submissive fantasies. She is a Dominatrix, She doesn’t play one.
Whilst our relationship has matured from our initial professional/client association, “high protocol” as described in many books on BDSM has never been part of our D/s dynamic. Regardless, this simple requirement put forward in Her expectations sets the tone of a conversation on any topic from the submissive. It not only reflects acknowledgement of respect but also overtly enables the beginning of power exchange that is core to the D/s experience.
To this day i do not believe i have ever addressed Miss Ruby any other way, sometimes to a fault. In fact, i find it difficult to refer to Her any other way, even in polite conversation not in Her presence. Just this week in fact i started training myself to “swallow” the “Miss” honorific in daily discussions with others so that i can refer to Her by name. Similarly i find it difficult to use Her public name in social situations with our circle of friends.

DO’s

Use “Miss” or “Mistress” either alone or preceding Her name whenever addressing Her directly. Other variations allowed with negotiation may include “Goddess”, “Lady”, “Master”, “Madam”, or any other honorific pleases your Mistress.
Apply this rule without exception to the context; whether it be in Her dungeon during play, in Her den before or after sessions, or in public if She has graced you with Her presence. Also it is used whether in spoken or written communication (including texting).
Always speak direct and clearly. Leave no wiggle room if making a request. While quite empathic, that does not mean She knows your thoughts until you voice them.
Ensure that you have Her attention before trying to speak, especially if you are talking to something you expect Her to take to heart.
Be open and honest with both yourself and your Mistress; remember the power of words not just to be understood, but also to represent inner feelings and beliefs.

DON’Ts

Never call Her by any other colloquial names (“honey” or “sweetie”… ewwww!).
Don’t challenge boundaries clearly negotiated with your Mistress for your relationship.
On no occasion assume your Mistress knows what you are thinking or feeling. Duh!
Never raise your voice in anger, TYPE IN ALL CAPS, or try to use coded phrases when trying to communicate with Her. Use your words like you were taught in kindergarten, and use them as an adult.
Making Requests of my Mistress
As the first topic suggests, you often will need to ask something of your Mistress that She is not giving or understanding, either around or during play time. So you already know it is imperative that you make such requests with all the respect your Mistress deserves. And if you are asking for something not previously discussed or negotiated you must be prepared to not have your request granted. Without disappointment, regret, or anger. Ever.
Your Mistress can do one of many things with a request, but they all boil down to either granting or denying the request. If granted, be sure to immediately thank your Mistress. If denied, drop it. Simple.
Remember that if your Mistress is an exceptional one, as you should always strive to find, She will be ten steps ahead of you in your D/s relationships. Dommes that i have met tend to play the “long game” which may have many things granted in the short term and others, while on the menu, are kept at an arm’s length from Her submissive, and still others hard boundaries that are non-negotiable. As an aspiring submissive, you simply must accept Her lead. It’s all about Her anyway, remember?
But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask for something outside of your current D/s relationship boundaries or expectations. You just have to accept the reality that it may not get granted.
You also have to think about what impact your request may have on the current state of your relationship. To my earlier point, if a request is denied yet you continue to raise it, know that this may be considered a harassment to which your Mistress may use to terminate your relationship. It’s not an all-or-nothing point, but depending on the request it could be. Again; at best your request will be granted, at worst, it will be denied. Short and sweet.

DO’s

Always respect the boundaries previously negotiated with your Mistress.
Respectfully present requests that potentially push boundaries in a low-stress environment where it can be both objectively evaluated and discussed.
If your request is a “show-stopper” for you, write it down, along with your feelings on the request, how you think it will benefit your Mistress by granting it to you, and how you think it will impact your relationship if your request is denied. Then put it under your pillow and sleep on it, literally. Then tear it up and write it again. Rinse, reapply, repeat. Do this for ten days then see if it is still important enough to re-negotiate.

DON’Ts

Don’t be a dick.
Repeatedly asking for the same thing previously denied by your Mistress is a recipe for dissolving your relationship with Her.
Insisting your Mistress partake in sexual activity outside of negotiated boundaries in the middle of a fully-involved scene that is requiring Her full attention is a recipe for destruction as well as disaster.
Never make a request an ultimatum if you are not willing to deal with the consequences of your action.

Sharing Fantasies with my Mistress

Part and parcel of a D/s relationship with a Mistress is fulfilling frequently deeply closeted, mostly kinky as fuck, often disturbing to most of society fantasies. Even “common” BDSM activities are by definition only imagined by our vanilla brethren. EVERYONE has sexual fantasies at some point in their life if not for all of their life. And your Mistress has heard them all, and likely has heard many you have not. But, putting your deepest fantasies on paper or into a conversation with your Mistress is not something done in most people’s everyday life.
Your Mistress will ask you what your fantasies are and when given that opportunity you must not be shy. If by for some unbelievable happening She doesn’t, then tell Her you want to have the discussion. Accepting and embracing your desires is part of the honest communication i spoke of earlier. And everything should be on the table for negotiation, and negotiation is an integral part of safe, sane, and consensual activity.
Some may have a checklist of fantastic kinks they want to experience or may only be curious about. Some may write erotic fiction describing scenes that they see themselves in with their Mistress. Others may only feel comfortable talking about fantasies face to face. Whatever the delivery mechanism, being able to most fully describe it is part of the open and honest conversation you have regularly with your Domme.
Some of the ways i have tried (other than the checklist and erotic fiction), include things such as i put in the DO’s list below.

DO’s

Sharing images or clips of scenes you find in adult media (porn!) with your commentary can be an effective way to speak that which you cannot find words for.
Jot down short vignettes as they occur, such as upon waking or during those boring work meetings. Then you can either shoot off in email or present to your Miss the next time you see Her
Watch porn with Her and try to be objective and clinical about it; crack jokes about it to make it normal.

DON’Ts

Don’t send Her dick pics unless She has asked you to first.
Never pout when you ask for one thing and get it when you actually wanted something else.
At no time press your Mistress to do anything outside of Her negotiated boundaries. She may push yours, but you pushing Hers is not part of the dynamic.

Having Respectful Conversations with my Mistress

Now that the basic protocols for addressing your Mistress and proper ways to present requests and fantasies to Her have been discussed, the atmosphere and behavior during the resultant conversations also have their own protocol. Many of these items are common sense or typical social conventions, but the must be followed in order to show the utmost respect and resultant consideration from your Mistress. While you may be a sexual deviant, you should not deviate from these points!
To back up, what is “respect” and how does one provide it? It’s easy enough to look up the definition &/or synonyms, and even query the Internet for other’s opinions. The words that stick out to me include esteem, high regard, admiration, deference, and reverence. Some of the ways to commonly show respect are listed below:
Actively Listen: when someone speaks to you give them your full attention
Honor your Word: if you say you will do something then do it; if it can’t be done then communicate it
Be on Time: or, better, be 15 minutes early; show that you value other’s time as much or more than your own
Think of situations in your life where you must interact and communicate with another person who is not your peer. When you were a school child, it could be your teacher or principal. If in the military it would be your Drill Sargent or Company Commander. At work it would be your boss’s boss or, better, the CEO of the company. Or better yet, think of being at the White House and meeting the President of the United States, arguably the most powerful person in the world. Now, thinking of these situations, ask yourself some rhetorical questions:
Do you address them by their given name or and address them as “Sir” or “Madam”?
Would you blurt out questions or wait until a proper time in the conversation arose?
Would you touch them as you spoke or would you stay a socially acceptable distance apart?
Do you use your “indoor voice” when emphasizing a point or do you raise your voice to make your passion on the topic understood?
Are any points you may raise laced with profanity or are you more clear in expressing your thoughts?
Unless you are truly out of touch with reality, when these questions arise you think twice before you act, especially when speaking. And thus you remind yourself of your understood position of power in the relationship and then act accordingly.
Having a Mistress, either in a play situation or in a longer term D/s relationship, requires clear understanding of the poles of power. Power exchange is the core of a fulfilling D/s relationship. Even in play (including pay-for-play), such poles are governed by natural law; by that i mean that if the balance of power is upset then the basis of the relationship is skewed and therefore in danger of being nullified. If the power is neutralized, there is little attraction or energy. But if the power roles are clearly defined, understood, and acted upon then the maximum potential energy is enabled to be drawn upon. In fact, the “stronger” the individuals are in their roles of Dominant and submissive, the greater that potential energy becomes, and the maximum pleasure from the relationship is realized.
Your Mistress is the center of your universe; if She is not then you should find another Mistress. Being an adult you know the concept of respect and need always defer to your Mistress in thought, word, and deed.

DO’s

Think before you speak.
Present a humble attitude when conversing, including proper address, language, tone, and personal space.
Expect to have your relationship terminated if you disrespect your Mistress.

DON’Ts

Never lie, berate, criticize, or in any way disrespect your Mistress.
Don’t even think about touching your Mistress during normal conversation unless you ask first and then are allowed.
At no time raise your voice in anger to your Mistress.
Never interrupt your BDSM Mistress while She is speaking.

In Closing

In reading this essay keep in mind the value of your relationship with your Mistress. In my relationship with Miss Ruby i seek to become a better human as a result of being Her submissive man. To that end i offer Her thoughts, words, and deeds on a daily basis to acknowledge that submission. Personally, i find these things natural to do and never a chore; if they are a chore for you i would humbly advise you to consider re-evaluating your desire to be in a D/s relationship with your Mistress. Perhaps you want to become a better submissive yet are challenged by understanding these point; in that case you have much to work on with your Mistress. If you are lucky your Mistress will have the time, patience, and energy to invest in your becoming Her submissive, bringing both She and you greater pleasures from life.
As with any human interaction, the benefits you derive from your relationship with your Mistress are proportional to the energy you put into that relationship.
Best wishes on your journey!

Ideas Worth Spreading

I am crazy about Ted Talks. I love the way they make me feel, I love the concept… I just love everything about them. I started watching them when I was in high school and I immediately dug the concept; A place where intelligent folks come together to share beautiful ideas with the world. Fuck. Yes. So I decided to create a list of my favorite Ted Talks, not in any particular order. These are all talks that I have found inspirational, educational, heart warming, surprising, funny or just a good reminder of things I should keep in mind.

The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown

Listening to Shame by Brene Brown

Looks Aren’t Everything. Believe Me, I’m a Model by Cameron Russell

The Art of Asking by Amanda Palmer

How to Stop Screwing Yourself by Mel Robbins

How to Speak So That People Want to Listen by Julian Treasure

5 Ways to Listen Better by Julian Treasure

The Price of Shame by Monica Lewinski

How to Spot a Liar by Pamela Meyer

Why Thinking You’re Ugly is Bad for You by Meaghan Ramsey

The World Needs All Kinds of Minds by Temple Grandin

Strange Answers to the Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

The Voices in My Head by Eleanor Longden

My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor

Being Just Crazy Enough by Joshua Walters

Updates to the site (Plus Pictures!)

As some of you may have noticed, I have added a bunch of new photos to my website and social media! Thanks to the wonderful Chris Blakeley, I have a gorgeous, high drama photo set for you all to perv on.

I have also added and made changes to my duo partners list by adding photos, descriptions and new folks!

As far as my personal life I am currently dealing with tax season (which is more annoying and time consuming than anything but at the end of the day, supporting my fellow humans is important to me) and I have a new relationship with a lovely little lady from Canada who will hopefully be spending the summer with me to apprentice under me and make horrible videos.
rubber ducky, you're the one

Thegirl

nomnom

Let’s be fucking honest here, who doesn’t want to watch me hit that?
Maybe if you’re a good boy I’ll let you clean up afterwards. 😉